Monday, October 15, 2001

twenty four

so i get a laptop so i can go to the library and really concentrate and what do i do? go online and fucking write a blog. i'm such a waste. i don't do anything! there are so many people who would kill to be in my shoes, and i trace my hand during class and dream about my wedding day. whoa i need a reality check here. if i don't get my act together, i will not get a good job after graduation, which, scary enough to say, is in two and a half years. no job, no money. live with parents. not cool. i want to make more money than my husband. that would kick ass. but i don't want to wear the pants of the household... i like skirts occasionally. so... there was this guy that we met this weekend (girls you know who i'm talking about... goat boy) who was saying how girls can get whatever they want from a guy. and that girls scare him. first of all-- i had to point out to him that the only girls who get whatever they want from a guy are the ones who offer the prospect of a fuck. sorry to be so blunt, but hey that's how it is. so if a girl gives off those vibes, a guy would do just about anything to 'stay with her' not even relationship-wise. hence, girls can get whatever they want. but what about the girls who don't give off that vibe, even if it's just the vibe they don't give off. i mean, someone can not express her willingness to fool around, but in actuality, be a tease. and on the flip side, there are many girls who give off the tease vibe and are in fact totally prude. soooooo, what am i trying to say here? that it's all fucked up. why can't people just want other people and just get it over with. sleep with each other or don't. but just be honest enough to tell one another what's going on. i hate games, and i hope i give off that vibe that i don;t like to play them. just either you're interested, or you're not. plain and simple. so what happens to the girls who don't give off the prospect of a fuck? well some guys might be interested but that small part of their brain (even if it's in their subconscience) is always looking out for another girl who could get them laid. that's basically the conclusion we came to in the car. how fucked up is that? which then leads me to our ubiquitous question: why are we three single? any correlation here? hmmmmm something to think about.

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