Friday, April 29, 2005

, originally uploaded by Lindsay Smith.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Ahh, Blogger... it's been a too long. So many things have happened since we last talked... like my mom getting a new front-load washing machine that is 10x quieter and we can now enjoy the television without getting up from the couch and shutting the door to the laundry room. Or! my dog got arthritis spontaneously, and now we will sit on the floor and massage her feet (oh my god, and i am so not joking either), or! tomorrow is payday, thus i am that much closer to being out of debt. And by "that much", I mean "not at all."

So, now that we're all caught up...

A few weeks ago, Roxanne and I met this guy at the bar. (Dick o'Dows, if you must know. Why you all up in the details, gina?) Of course, being the rauchy and crass girls we are, the conversation turned to sex, and the guy -- who was 40 and hottt and 'bought businesses and fixed them up and sold them for a profit -- asked us how our sex life had evolved. Him being 40 and all, he explained his sex life like wine; it got better with age. He sort of directed the question at me, and I was startled, to say the least. I squinted my eyes at him, not sure of what to make of that. I turned my head towards Roxanne, sure she was thinking of some witty rhetoric. Sure enough, she was just waiting for my cue.

"Well, I'd say it's like a good piece of cheese..." she started. He looked a little confused, and almost smug. "You know... sometimes you get a good piece, a sharp cheddar, and sometimes it's just not right." [Ed. note: like a piece of pepperjack, when you can't tell if it's mold or peppercorns and you eat it anyway and it was definately the former.

"Yeah!..." I piped in. "Sometimes it's like gorgonzola." I didn't really know what I was talking about, but man, to throw in "gorgonzola" in a conversation had to be worth something, no?

It was a hilarious conversation nonetheless, and I won't even bother with trying to re-create it, as it will totally lose its' effectiveness and I will end up looking like an immature twentysomething, and my policy has ALWAYS been not to let people know the true me. (ha-ha)

SO, anyway. Tonight, Kare joined us at Dick O'Dows, and of course Rox and I relived that conversation we had a couple of weeks ago.

"Karin, the other week we compared our sex lives with cheese," I told her. "Well, really, life in general... but you don't even like cheese." I had to think of how to tell her the story knowing her disdain for dairy.

"Okay, life, specifically 'life in your twenties' is like......... POP. You like pop right? Okay, so life is like pop. You know, sometimes, you're just dying for an ice cold Mountain Dew. Then the next day, you get into your hot hot car, and there is a Coke sitting there, boiling over. You're dying of thirst, and there is a boiling Coke. Drink the Coke? Die of thirst. [Hands pretending to level like a balance.] Or, you know, sometimes all they have is Diet Rite. Is it worth it? Have nothing or have Diet Rite. That's life in your twenties."

I'm sure it was all more profound in my head. Karin asked what life was like in your thirties. Being the omniscent soul I am, I told her it was analgous (haha, I just wrote "anal", I may be omniscent, but I am not mature!!) to... shit. What did I say? I can't remember right now. It'll come to me.


THAT'S RIGHT. I said it was like a meal from PF Changs. (What the FUCK? Am I obsessed with food-slash-drink or what????)
(Meaning, anything you order from the menu is bound to be good, but some better than the others. If you get something you're not crazy about, you still can pick out the good things about it and be grateful for the hot meal. That's the difference between 20-somethings and 30-somethings. 20-somethings are just so damn ungrateful and ungracious.)

So that's that.

What else? I've been writing at work. I'd post from work, like I did in the good old days of GE, but alas, not available at the present time. My dad asked me the other day what I was doing about getting another job. (Seeing as how I work in the auto-industry and live in metro Detroit... not a good combination.)

So I guess you could say I'm working on that. If you call "thinking about it" "working".

Other than that, I'M LAZY AS HELL. Even the one thing I do, Tai Chi, I do it sub-par and my teacher tell me I need to work on my footing. And it's the laziest form of martial arts there is! I might as well just WATCH the Tai Chi of DVD while sipping on my Chi Tea. (WHICH! I sooooo have started drinking, just to say I enjoy Tai Chi and Chi Tea simulataneously.)


Monday, April 18, 2005

I love Flickr, and you will too. Read on, and if you want one, email me at work with a funny or dirty joke.

Hi Lindsay Smith!

You may have heard on the grapevine that we planned to
reward our dear Flickr members who bought a Pro Account in
the early days. Well, it's true! And since you're one of
those lovely people, here's a little something to say YOU

1. Double what you paid for!
Your original 1 year pro account has been doubled to
2 years, and your new expiry date is Dec 17, 2006.

2. More capacity!
Now you can upload 2 GB per month.

3. 2 free Pro Accounts to give away to your friends!
This won't be activated for a day or two, but when it
is, you'll see a note on your home page telling you
what to do.

Thank you so much for putting your money where your mouth
is and supporting us, even while we're in beta. Your
generosity and cold, hard cash helped us get where we are

Kind regards,
The Flickreenies.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

There are some words I habitually spell incorrectly. "Liscense" and "sentance", "personnel" and "repetetive". I actually typed in just now, when I meant to type That's how today went.

I hate hate hate it when you can tell people have been talking about you. I guess I don't hate it that they talk, just that I'm aware of it. Beer is usually a good remedy for that, I've found.

"He usually comes home singing."

I love love love an unexpected good time. After wholeheartedly yet with regret refuting my mom's assertation that I'm an optimist (has she met me since the age of eleven?) I realized that when I do have positive thoughts, I (gasp!) enjoy life! Let's process that for a minute.

The same issue of Newsweek that had the dead Pope on the cover had a blurb about "why your soul is in your sole." Then it showed celebrities and their different styles of footwear and then perfectly described them. Life is so easy. People are easy to read.

Everything Zen.

Monday, April 4, 2005

Why I love The Matchmaker, reason #2

matchmaker, originally uploaded by Lindsay Smith.

This pie chart.

(Number 1 being the leading Irish man, number 3 being this man.)

Not that I've ever been in a relationship, per se, but I believe him. I sure do.

"It's only..."

DSC00777, originally uploaded by Lindsay Smith.

We went to Olive Garden with the idea of unlimited soup and salad for $5.99.
Girls on a budget.
Until, we arrive.
"Glass of wine, please." (Nevermind it is only noon.)
"Mimosa's all around."

Rox gets the bill, focuses long enough on it to proclaim, "It's only $35!"

We were confused... she had paid for all of our mimosas, her own wine, her own food, plus one of the appetizers. It didn't add up.

To our confused looks, she added...
"... on alcohol!"


DSC00772, originally uploaded by Lindsay Smith.

This is her talking with her hands...

"No, I will NOT turn around, I'm trying to DRIVE and get us to lunch in one PIECE."

She reminded me of G-Dub.

Ain't nothin' but a G(irlfriend) Thang

DSC00792, originally uploaded by Lindsay Smith.

Okay, I'll spare you any more pseudo-urban slangs.

Bathroom, v2.0

DSC00814, originally uploaded by Lindsay Smith.

Umm yeaaaah. I took this picture of myself, because apparantely THAT'S WHAT I DO. Except this is a special one. Special because I happen to be on the toilet.

Actually, this is not a first.

(And NO, I am not taking a dump. I'm trying to look inconspicuous.)

Bathroom, v1.0

DSC00842, originally uploaded by Lindsay Smith.

I guess I became a bona fide true friend this weekend, as I held back the hair of a puking pal. But maybe it was a little bit of a "one step forward, two steps back" because I proceeded to take a picture of her wiping her mouth and vowed to put it on my website.


DSC00857, originally uploaded by Lindsay Smith.

Okay, I may have butchered the word "ettiquete" but I know this much is true:


-do not approach strangers (women strangers) by telling them how refreshing it is to see "real looking women" out and about. "real looking women" with "curves"

-especially if you preface it with "i hope i don't offend you..."


DSC00879, originally uploaded by Lindsay Smith.

Sunday, April 3, 2005

I loooove Kalamazoo!

But.... BOOOOOO to daylight savings time, and them kicking us out an hour early (Shakespears... you suck!) but WOOOO for a taxi only costing us $3 each, and WOOOO to me being not too drunk to type this but BOOOOO for me not drunk dialing anybody. BOOOOOOOOOOOO.