Monday, December 31, 2001

favorite boy band of 2001: LFO... summer time girls got it goin' on. that song never gets old. chinese food makes me sick... never gets old. and the new one... LIFE IS GREAT i love it. it's scary how much songs influence me.

favorite restaurant of 2001: taste of thai. chicken pad thai, good. but when it comes to this place, stick to what you know. i tried "pad see ew" once, and let me tell you... that's the last time i ever order food with the word "EW" in it. enough said.

favorite spartan moment of 2001: hmmm. there's a few. cold war, attack of squirrel, channeling the spirit of miles davis, dumb parties, failing school, new people, old people, in between people.

favorite color of 2001: the bright as ass yellow of my room, ala summer 2001.

favorite concert of 2001: lifehouse. worth the wait.

favorite outing of 2001: cedar point halloween weekend. freezing as all hell (wait... nevermind) but you can't beat a 10 minute line for the millennium force, only to clutch your head the entire way down because your hat is flying off your head. yup, can't beat that.

favorite saying of 2001: yet another tie. "super excellent sweet" "schwing!" and the usual OOC LMC HYMM HS etc.

favorite song quote of 2001: there's a few.
"how can i stand here with you and not be moved by you?" mmm hi lifehouse
"i was gonna go to class, but i got high..." kooky boy afroman
"say hello... but wave goodbye" david grey
"it's so hard to do, and so easy to say... but sometimes, sometimes you just have to walk away" ben harper
"celebrate, don't wait too late... one more time, we're gonna celebrate..." daft punk
"i want to be where i've never been before... i want to be there and then i'd understand. i know i'm right and do it right-- could i get to be like that? i don't know and i don't know but there's nothing more to gain." guster
"sometimes it hurts so badly i must cry out loud" csny
"this is over my head but underneath my feet" lifehouse
"i live my life by the moon: if it's high i play it low, if it's harvest: go slow, and if it's full, then go" nelly furtado

favorite job of 2001: summer camp. fun shit with nina, kath, and maria!

favorite class of 2001: REL 320 with chris frilingos

favorite athletic moment of 2001: being beat by both my mom and sister in the turkey trot 10k.

here's to more favorites, and more of everything. cheers.

Sunday, December 30, 2001

you think you know... but you have no idea.

p.s. and you probably will never have an idea, but between you and me, let's not pretend... you don't want an idea anyway.

Saturday, December 29, 2001

yessss. this vacation rules.

Friday, December 28, 2001

go see A Beautiful Mind.

Thursday, December 27, 2001

i'm so done.

rephrase: i am so almost done.

Tuesday, December 25, 2001

merry christmas

Monday, December 24, 2001

'tis the season

Wednesday, December 19, 2001

i am SUCH a good student.

Tuesday, December 18, 2001

billy elliott is my hero.
i wish movies were "satisfaction guaranteed" cuz i'd sure as hell demand my 8.50 back from Vanilla Sky. i can't believe cameron crowe did that - the same man who did jerry maguire, say anything, and almost famous? almost my ass. i should probably stop swearing, it's unattractive.
tick tock, the clock is counting off another minute... and here i sit.
happy new year blog readers. in advance.
did you ever realize how after college, i suppose like how after high school, you only keep in touch with those you make a conscious effort to keep in touch with? then i think of who all i have kept in touch with from high school, and i try and figure out who from college i'll keep in touch with. it's weird how life goes through phases like that, but what's the phase after college? nothing really. oh well.
but i'm still waiting to run into someone.
and when will it snow already? don't get me wrong, i hate driving in snow and stuff, but i want to go sledding before break is over! that was so fun last winter...
oh, and i've been watching TLC lately, and i miss it so! dating show, wedding show, baby show, trading spaces. it would be DANGEROUS if michigan state had TLC on their cable, cuz i WOULD NOT GO TO CLASS!
i've been stalking stu-info and they won't post my grades! i'm dying to find out how i did overall. ah it'll be one to post on the fridge.
say hello and wave goodbye."

Sunday, December 16, 2001

aw feck, i lost my post!

(gasp) she just said the f-word!
no, i think she said "feck"
what's the difference?
the letter u

p.s. do not post and publish at the same time. that's how i lose my precious thoughts :_(

Friday, December 14, 2001

i don't know where to draw the line with myself. sometimes i just need to regulate my thoughts, like have a referee up there to say "no that's definately a personal foul, one more from you and you're out of the game" and sometimes to blow the whistle on the other guy and let me know that i was indeed being wronged, and no it was not just my imagination. but the bottom line, and yes, the BOTTOM line, is that i need to learn some self-regulation. surely it can be done. it cannot be unattainable. nothing truly is, except maybe the lions going to the superbowl. i need to get real with myself, in true dr.phil style. (no i am not seeing a shrink, but i have been known to watch tuesday's oprahs, 'eh, from time to time' --that was a movie quote). whoa a little off subject. self-regulation. see there i can do it. sort of. ahhhhh. and then i allow other things to complicate the previous things, such that i am not even sure what it is i am trying to self-regulate. except that i do, but i just think i am complicating it so as not to disappoint myself? no that's not it. set myself up for disappointment? cuz i sure as hell know that there's no way i could disappoint myself in such situations, but i know other factors could. i'm so not even following myself. but i do know this: the key to it all lies in me. and my reactions to things, and my overreactions and underreactions. someone once said that life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it. AMEN to that. it's so the truth. try and deny it all you want. but you know that the things you complain about, bitch about, even the things that make you the most happy are all reactions... not really the things itself. or something along those lines. sooooo. ah, invasion. i wish i could just forget. have amnesia in that part of my mushy gray matter of brain. it's so weird how our minds work, how i can sit here, there, anywhere, literally, and think about it. kind of .... i don't know. not cool i guess. i mean, just get over it. that's all. see, here i've wasted another 15 minutes trying to explain it without really explaining it at all. i hate when you have thoughts, and then you try and tell someone them and they just flee your mind. like they're scared of the light or something. so they run and hide in the crevices of you brain. (i believe they are in fact called sutures?) oh gosh i'm just sitting here, waiting for like santa claus to show up and deliver. but i have a sneaking suspicion that's not going to happen. aw shit. ok so this is where i should take the hint, and this is the part i always screw up and don't. we're talking crucial. if i can't take advice from myself, i'm doomed. angel on my left is saying "go to bed" and fallen angel on right is saying "no go out late and stay up". not literally, i'm not talking about sleep patterns and circadean rhythm here, but you know. but i don't really think i have a fallen angel anyway. or an angel angel for that matter. roger that, i think i have an angel. anyway, totally unrelated to the horrible analogy i just gave, and nothing to do with angels, i'm going to bed. i'm in love with my bed. i'm going to marry it. that would solve everything.

Monday, December 10, 2001

and if i don't see you... good afternoon, good evening, and goodnight!

roxanne, channelling the spirit of miles davis:

so how are you?
freedie freeloader and i are doing just great
i am keeping to mood set by playing them some songs
you know jazz will clear the brain and allow the soul to accept the information
bisexual?... is not a new sexual postion?... well damn....back in my day we just did it missionary style

then her just being plain old silly: hey, i could be an actor, i could be a writer, hell i could even be a creative calender writer!

Saturday, December 8, 2001

do you ever just want to walk into a room yelling "fuck y'all, all y'all, if y'all don't like me: blow me" ? just wondering.

Friday, December 7, 2001

i say "oy" you say....... "veh"
now kids, don't lick the icicle......

Thursday, December 6, 2001

:::the reservoir is empty::: this will have to suffice.
these are exerpts from a book my mom got me, called "the meaning of life: reflections in words and pictures on why we are here", made by Life Magazine. my favorites:

The meaning of life is listening to Pavarotti, feeling the sun on your face, drinking a bottle of wine, and then another. The meaning of life is having a safe and healthy society, a happy family life, good health, a loving wife, work that you like, smelling the smell of a new car and the ocean air, being able to hit a bull's-eye, coming home with the fish and not another fish story." Carmine Pucci, a butcher

If I had been asked why we are here four years ago, just when my daughter was born and I would stand over her little bassinet asleep and just weep uncontrollably because I was beyond happiness or sorrow or any other feeling I had ever known, I would have said that this small child - my child - and all others just like her, was the reason we are here. Just the other day, though, over her objections, I turned off the Sleeping Beauty video she was watching so that her father and I could watch the evening news. Half to herself, half to the empty space in front of her, not directly at us at all, and in a plaintive voice, she said, "Now I'm all alone with my boring parents." If anyone should absolutely, definitely, truthfully find out why we are here, please do not tell me. If I were to really, really know, I feel certain that I should then ask, "Please, may I now leave?" Jamaica Kincaid

While calamity jane in a slow burlesque plays catch in a bone yard way at the top of a two-legged mare it was a good night full of bad dreams with flat champagne and leaves in my hair, still shooting at birds with a violin bow first whisper your dreams in your children's ears making them safe as a hurricane dangling from a spider web and across the plate with a swing and a crack with just a skull for a ball and a leg-bone bat and all I remember are sparkle rocks, blue horses and flamingos as the train begins to slow and I always saw better when my eyes were closed." Tom Waits

I used to think that life was all about going to work, nine to five, busting your butt. I was a commodities broker before I was a sock salesman. I worked at Four World Trade Center on the New York Mercantile Exchange. I was a trader. And I lost a whole lot of money in one day. Around fifty thousand dollars. I went from being pretty well-off to being broke-- all in one day. After I lost it, I thought, "this is the end of the world." Soon after it was all gone, I realized money wasn't that important anymore.
Then I started selling socks on the street. It has made me a little bit tougher, not as trustful. I have a harder edge to me. Part of the meaning of life is learning that some people come to you with a smile and all of a sudden they're trying to stab you in the back when you turn around. When that happens to me I really don't feel so bad about it because I'm honest, I go to sleep with a clear head every night. I realize that these people who try to "get over" on me--who try to pull a number on me--do not. Life is not about going through the drudgery of work. Life is aobut trying to enhannce your existance: anything from climbing mountains to going up in a hot air balloon to falling in love. Life is more or less trying to surround yourself with good people." Wayne Silverman

The real question to ask is: Why am I here?
Each of us was placed here for a special purpose. I believe that it is each person's responsibility to determine what he or she can do to make the world a better place-- and then go out and do it.
We are here to:
Live together peacefully.
Be honest with ourselves and others.
Stand on principle, never yielding to expediency.
Take full responsibility for our actions.
Control our selfish and acquisitive instincts.
Protect and preserve our home-- the planet we live on.
Maintain and improve the most efficient unit of government the world has ever known-- the strong family unit.
Manage a world driven by rapid change for the benefit of future generations even though an inherent trait of human nature is to resist change.
Be resolute and unflinching in accomplishing the toughest tasks, where the odds of achieving success are against us.
Risk failure." Ross Perot

The reason we are here is to ask "Why are we here?" and have the question go unanswered." Marc Kravitz

The only real meaning in life can be found in a good man. And maybe Paris. Preferably the two together."

No why. Just here." John Cage

Wednesday, December 5, 2001

t minus one week.

Tuesday, December 4, 2001

pardon my french.

Monday, December 3, 2001

fuck it, i'm sick.
i HATE cse131. just thinking about the fact that we have an assignment due this thursday, plus an exam this thursday, plus a 20%-of-my-grade group assignment, plus a final exam in a week in that class alone makes my body want to puke. this professor is out of control-just ridiculous. heartless if you ask me. does he think my entire life revolves around his class. my body aches thinking about this next week. asd;lfkjas;dlfkjasfja;fja;fjd;afjd;afjd;afjdadsflja. there got that out of my system. not really.
anyway. it's not even december yet. i mean, it is, i'm just in shock. who-hoo for sleeping in for a month at home in my comfy bed. having my dog come whine at my bed cuz she wants me to wake up and play with her. my brother and sister fighting, having real food available to me, hanging out, driving my little saturn, etc. i miss 13 mile and lahser. i love how i always know the light schedule for that intersection. school is great but i've never felt so stressed in my life. ever. and i don't stress, it's a rare occasion. so much to do, so little time. that's so cliche. whatever.
on a lighter note... i ran today for like an hour, and had some ben and jerry's. quality. i'm listening to oar, and marvin gaye. i have purple christmas lights on my loft. i had a fun time with 2 good friends on friday. my mom called me today. i bought my first christmas present today too. lifehouse concert is in 1 week, a long awaited concert at that. chiro in the a.m. (uhhhhh 3 8:00 classes next semster, big "we'll see"). i haven't done a shred of homework this weekend, and if i thought yesterday was a waste of a day, today was even worse. i literally did nothing. good episode of the practice, and a run, and Cherry Garcia. but not a thing else. took off aol instant messenger. had a blog war with roxanne. got some dinner. did a face mask. i am so rambling. my back hurts. six packs by the getaway people. what a weird song considering. i have no idea what's going on. i feel like people are talking about me behind my back, not in a bad way, but in a way nonetheless. it's weird. i don't like not knowing what people are saying about me. i'd rather not know i was being talked about. any-who. new song like NOW. yesssss it's billy. he's the man.
breathe in. hold. breathe out. repeat as needed. like over and over again.
what the hell am i talking about. i feel like such a sped. america's sweethearts was like the worst movie ever. besides "the honk-et" and "roll of quarters" reference. he was the only funny thing in it, even the whole dog-sniffing-the-crotch thing was lame. but johnny is still THE SHIT. pushing tin, say anything, grosse point blank make up for it. we all make mistakes. there's another one i love, but i can't think of it. damn.
whooooooa oh. for the longest time.
baby cuz i'm a THUG. no i'm not. i'm the anti-thug.
oh my gosh my room is sweltering. i'm only about 60% sure that "sweltering" is a word, and then only like 20% that it is applicable in the way i used it. i'm really hot though, as in temperature. when i woke up this morning, the room was spinning. that's probably not a good thing. it was spinning saturday when i woke up, but i thought that was cuz i was just hung over. i shouldn't have been hungover sunday morning too. but sure enough it was spinning. if i am even getting sick, i'm going to fail the semester. i won't even pull a 2.0. it'll be like a zero-point. oh well. i should buy some zinc. and take back my white christmas lights while i'm at it. wednesday morning. maybe, if i wake up.
i forgot to do my capa again this week. i'm so ........... i don't know. dumb. i mean, i could get 100% on every one, but i either put it off and forget to do it, or put it off til like an hour before it's due. screw that. yay for no more capa, like, EVER. it's been real.
colt 45. afroman. funny shit. kinda gross, but a little vulgarity never hurt anyone.
funny quotes from the weekend:
*hi, i'm doug, but don't worry: i'm gay*
*what's that smell? [looking around, then down at the tray] oh, it's my taco bell*
*this is my friend. she got a 36 on the A.C.T. --yeah, and my friend, she got a 35. i only hang out with smart people.-- *
*if you hadn't been [reference to a blow job] earlier, i'd say you looked cute*
*don't let anything bite your ass*
*[while someone's peeing in the bushes] hey if someone's coming, just run up to them and flash them, ok?*
*my hands are cold [reference to last year's last football game] --then put them down your pants-- *
*oh ... hi miguel!!*
ok i'm sick of being awake. night to all. i mean, night lindsay. cuz i'll read this to myself in like 3 seconds.

Sunday, December 2, 2001

ok now that i am over my blog-happy weird mood, (plus off the phone with roxanne) i am stating for the record that i have uninstalled, yes that is correct, i have taken instant messenger off of my computer. it is no longer on it, therefore if you see me online in the next week, come over and kick my ass because i shouldn't be. either i have downloaded it again like a bad girl, or i'm somewhere else on it. and i shouldn't be. if i'm going to get a 2 point this semester at least i should say i tried studying. put in a little effort. nevermind that all of the effort was in the last week of class.... yay for taking 2 100-level intro courses next semester. yay for probably being kicked out of the honors college. yay for college in general. that's 3 yay's i must go now.
me... peeing in someone's lawn? what a crock of shit. i would never break the law... don't you know that public urination warrants a ticket? i would NEVER NEVER do that. nice try rox.
uh oh, roxanne is laughing a sinister laugh, she's going to post some false, slanderous shit about me!
i think i have a hold too. my parents are dingbats and forget to mail in my payments too
we very much need to stop going on blogger and need to 1.) get lives 2.) do homework, in order of importance
roxanne and i are typing away like speed demons
what the fuck do you do on stu-info?" -me
"oh... i like to look at my account info, and see if there are any holds on my account. let me see if i have a hold (in an optimistic 'i-never-have-any-holds' tone of voice) shit, i have a hold!!"
i'm on the phone with roxanne and she just said to me: "oooh i want to go on stu-info, i haven't been on there in a while..."