top five things you may not know about me
1.) my best friend rhian and i, in 6th grade, went around to houses soliciting donations to a made up charity field trip, took the money we got (yes we did get money) and bought cigarettes. 11 years old...
2.) when i was 4, i was at the doctors getting a shot, and i threw up, fainted, and wet my pants all at once. hahahahahahaha. what a freak.
3.) senior year of high school, i had a "oh my gosh that is the man i am going to marry" moment and sometimes i still believe it
4.) i have never had a boyfriend.
5.) i had a seance in my backyard where my friends and i promised to be friends forever, and i don't talk to any of them.

i'm sure that is all information that you really needed/wanted to know. no, more like it's stuff that i get all nostalgic at... gotta love nostalgia.

i forget how the quote exactly goes, wait, i'll look it up, hold on a sec (as if blogger is going to go away...)
"Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth." this is a quote from the sunscreen song by baz.l. but written by mary schmich.
damn, even though it's so cliche (if that even? i like to use words i'm not 100% sure about appropriateness, another nice word linds), even though it's so cliche, i love the sunscreen song. i may just post the whole damn thing......
Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '99.....Wear Sunscreen
If I could offer you only tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience...I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; Oh nevermind; you will not understand the power of beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at the photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked...You're not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing that everyday that scares you.
Sing
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss
Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind...the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life...the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium
Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary...whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much
or berate yourself either- your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can...don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance... even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess to much with your hair, or by the time it's 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen...

love it. gotta go. ttyl. ciao.

i have a sinking feeling that when i finally do come to my senses, it will be too late, and i will regret that forever. i hate foreshadowing regret. nothing is worse than being passive.

aw man, the state news' last edition was friday. dammit!

i like to boogie on a saturday night.

here's my story for today:

so i'm riding my bike, and i see a man dressed in a black suit, pushing a cart, a big industrial cart, with what looked like a dead body. wrapped in black plastic garbage bags, tape was wrapped around it, and it's legs were sticking out, with pants and shoes on it. i said "holy fuck" under my breath and kept on biking.
a little further up, i see a dead body wrapped in the garbage bags again, this time propped up against the bus stop right outside of bessey hall. i stop my bike, just linger there for a second. this time i said "what the FUCK?" out loud, to the dead body, thinking that candid camera would pop out and play a joke on me or something. i looked around for other students, some were approaching, and i was already freaked the fuck out, so i rode on. my heart was pounding, i just wanted to get the hell back to my dorm room.
so i run upstairs, and relay the whole story to bridge totally out of breath, sweating, freaking out. she is intrigued, and said "well let's go." so bridge and i run back over there, and she points to a different guy now, rolling one of the bodies on the cart. except his cart is one of those dolly's, so the body is being pushed upright, but it's kind of slouching over. of course, this is all happening right outside of the auditorium, sort of by The Rock, where about 30 kids are standing or walking.
this is about when we suspect this is some sort of sick joke, some stupid goth-wannabe fuckers who are desperate losers. so he readjusts the body, and starts to wheel it by about 15 people waiting for the bus. the kids are all kind of freaking out, they have looks of horror on their faces, cuz it was a pretty sick sight. right as he's wheeling by, the guy i saw earlier comes with his dead body, and they together roll their bodies towards the back of the auditorium. at this point, i start running towards these two guys, and i yelled "what the fuck are you doing?" yeah, they didn't answer. surprise. so now i'm pissed, cuz not only are they some sick fucks trying to pull some stupid act, but they won't even respond to people. so bridge and i go around the other way, to cut them off. we eventually find them at kresge art center, hidden by the river, standing amongst themselves, a group of about 10 people all dressed in black, the black garbage bags flapping in the wind on the ground. they are sitting there laughing about the reactions of the people. at this point, i am fuming.
i was this close to calling the police, i was so pissed. if these stupid kids are going to "make a statement", then fuck, they should make the fucking statement instead of just doing it and not backing themselves up. they were cowards, ignorant people who just wanted to freak others out. so after i decided not to call the police (cuz what could the police really do about it?) bridge and i just stood there, watching them. i stared them down for about 5 minutes. they looked over at me, and i just stared, and then a few of them waved at me, a sick wave, and i yelled "yeah, good times" in a sarcastic tone and just remained standing there, totally grimming them down. i think they got a little nervous, cuz i just stood there, and one guy balled up the garbage bags and threw them in the garbage. they sort of broke up, a few went inside, two wheeled the dolly and cart back inside the building. bridge and i finally left after a good 5-minutes of staring at them.
yeah, you'll see my published letter to the State News in a later blog, i'll assure you that.

one day i'm going to quit writing long, personal blogs, only to highlight them and press delete. i will, i swear.

bow chicka PORK CHOP!
i'll be your pork, if you stick it to me
pork: the other white meat
you make me wanna... be a butcher
pork pork pork CHOP!

had to be there. long live the chops.

it scares me that i'm more than half done with college.

it's ridiculous how i've gone from fine to very sick within 12 hours. i feel like shit. like a big pile of it, too. and i've realized that it's been soooo long since i've been taken care of. i think i'm too independant acting. even if i got sick in high school (meaning at home), i usually held my own and medicated myself, got myself what i needed, etc. not that no one offered, i just did it myself. i still do. but right now, i don't want to take care of myself. i want to be taken care of. i want to just go to bed. i think i will.

i think i scrubbed my tongue with my toothbrush too hard, cuz everything i eat is super sensitive on the tongue. anyway, had a fabulous weekend, which will be documented in my other blog mmmhiho.blogspot.com. on another note, MAD props to jeremy, my hero and roxanne (you'd get bold if you had a penis rox) for helping me with the loft!!!!! you guys are my favorites.
and my final thought of the night is a quote, which is to be prefaced by the blurb that roxanne and i were walking back from lot91 in the rain, with long pants on, therefore she and i rolled them up, me in flip flops, rox in brown clogs with navy socks:
L: "rox, i gotta say... your feet are lookin' pretty butch there."
R: "did you just call my feet butch? i happen to think my feet are my best quality, aside from, of course, my breasts.
L: "yeah, from knees down, def. butch"
R: [pouts]

i just lost a *super long* post. do you want to know how/why i lost it?!
i highlighted the whole thing to copy and paste just in case blogger fucked up, and guess what happened? it disappeared as i ctrl+c'ed it. fucking a.

blog, my skin is pink and i have a bottle of aloe in the fridge. ; )
mother nature is my fairweather friend, literally.
amen to nice weather. no wonder so many people are born around 9 months after the weather turns nice... ; )
back to the books. it's funny how i don't actually use books anymore though, just the damn computer.
email me: smithL52@msu.edu

this weekend officially lasts forever. this is a good thing.
~pokey stix
~random sleep over at brox's and going to bed at 7 am
~sweetest thing
~nationals @ home
~sitting in birmingham
~sleeping in til 2:30
~party turned dennys turned fight club
~taking up the futon, sorry about that, you shoulda pushed my ass over!
~arabic/chinese picnic
~freckles on my nose
~the practice, reaffirming my sneaking suspicion that the world is doomed
~racing against time to finish capa
~nice hot shower with paul mitchell ; )

only 3 more weeks left in this semester. mixed feelings about this one. seeing as how that marks the end of my second year. which is kind of sad considering i'm set to graduate a semester early with the scheudle i have. so i'm more than half done with college. everyone is in such a rush to get out, "only 3 more weeks!" or "i can't wait to get out of this shithole!" but then you move home or get bored in the summer or it's too hot here and the grass is always greener, you know?

anyway.


more later i guess. the train sounds.

blog, tonight i feel gross.kare and i are going into a poppit chat room. gtg. brb. <----- i'm 12, sue me.

yesssss. wednesday night go to sleep at 4, sleep in through my accounting class (first and only one i will miss, go me!) and wake up at 1p.m. on the most gorgeous day of the year thus far. oh well. then, thrusday night, after giving jeremy a facial, watching smelly boys play hockey, and eating a 16" pokey stix, we decide to go to brox's at 4 am. finally slept at 7 a.m. apparently was talking in my sleep (cuz i'm cool like that) and woke up at 10 a.m. yesssss. love it.
so came home for the night. took home like half of my room. sweet. it's really cool how i have the mini-room though now, with no room to spare. i have no clue where anything is going to go! yessssss. i like saying yessssss. allison is currently making fun of me. well at least i don't not call my boyfriend back. brat. booya. oh wait, do i have a boyfriend? that's right.
help me, i'm in a nutshell.

sad that the first thing i think when i wake up on monday's and wednesday's is "Shit! what excuse can i concoct for being late to work again?!"

here's the picture: friday night, karin has come up here to chill for the night, i fall asleep in my bed, karin's chillin on the futon, we're waiting for boys to call us, never did, decide we are hungry, and decide that ordering food this very second is essential.

first: we call jimmy johns. #4 and #5. make it pronto
next: we call papa johns. large pizza, pepperoni and pineapple, please.
then: bridget walks in, "i'm ordering chinese, want any?" now hot and sour soup and eggrolls are on their way.

45 minutes later: ugggggghhhhhhhhhhh. we cannot move. we are stuffed silly. our clothes do not fit anymore. it was just great.

fast forward to midnight, when we decide to head on over to brox's house: me, sitting in the passenger seat, jaw drops at the sight of jamal standing in line to get into a bar. i just about died, silently though, i was good. so we're chillin at brox's, and tara shepard walks in. random. that was a fun night, just chillin with people i know. i much rather would do that than go to some party where i don't know anyone except the people i came with. i feel home when i see the faces that remember my own.-oar

saturday
the scene: kalamazoo, michigan. hanging out with jack and jen, our gracious hosts. got a george foreman style grill thing from jack - most usefull present ever. i'm debating if i want to use it quite yet, but i think i'm going to wait until the fall so it'll be brand spanking new. wrapped in wwf wrapping paper and everything. neat-o. love jack. so we head over to her friend robbie's party. except funny thing: we knock on the door. people answer. look at us like "hello? can i help you" and we were like "hi the party has arrived." i guess robbie wasn't there, and his friends didn't know who we were, so we were like "uhhhh can we come in anyway?" real cool. good times. well robbie was out buying a tap for the keg. comes back 10 minutes later with a new tap. new tap is broken. swell. once it was all straightened out, it was all good. found out i have yet another blog reader!!! i think that brings the tally up to 4 or 5 now. yeeee-haw. oh, another random thing: we see this guy that we met at matt/brox/rob/james' christmas party! so random. i swear, out of all the people i meet, i see most of them again. i mean, non-friends people i know. you know?

sunday morning, or is it afternoon? did we change the clock?
rox and i head out to find bagels, we are all pretty much still sitting with alcolhol in our system (you'd think mine would have come out with the 2 times i barfed, but what do you know, i'm still alcoholy), we set out for food.
an hour later, what should have been a 10 minute trip, prolonged by us getting lost, us stopping twice for directions, us stopping so i can half-barf in a kindgergarten parking lot, we stuff ourselves silly with like 5 bagels apiece. then make fun of how everyone got a piece. hahahahaha.

good times had by all

is ray charles still alive? if so, i want to book him for my wedding to sing "you are so beautiful"

funny thing of the week: my chiropractor asking me if i was planning on waiting to have children.
my response: yeah, waiting for YOU

my real response: yeah, let's see if i can get married yet... there's a start
what i was really thinking: okay, let's see if i can get a 2nd date with a guy...
what i was really thinking: okay, let's see if i can get a date with a guy...

oh dream-maker, you heart-breaker, where ever you're going, i'm going your way" moon river

you're okay, but you're jealous, but you're okay" smooth criminal

i will build a wall... saw it coming from a mile away. i'm not scared - try, wear your insides out. i don't even try." rainy day

sometimes i'm to scared to even try" happy frappy

eyes back and fast asleep, if you could see what i could see..." barrel of a gun

stand back you're dancing kinda close" too close

you want to hate me now, but i won't stop now" little things

darling, i can see you're dreaming, i don't want to wake you up when i close the door" this old house

well i've gone to shorten my road with a fist full of matches but nothing to strike" bullet holes

ego-maniac in the brain-iac, don't know how to act" rock superstar

i said how about an hour ago" conquering fools

i try to forget you, i try to stay away, i'm never over you. there's something about you." back to you

suddenly the memories came back to me in my mind." again

looking for some action, i can't rest til i find satisfaction" rhyme for the summertime

i listen to the wind of my soul, where i'll end up, well i think only god really knows" the wind