coffeeshop conversations... it's too easy to eavsdrop in coffeeshops. actually it's impossible not to. whether it's that of an amateur porn "actress" (java hutt, last summer), two girls graduating from highschool (beaners, this summer), or just some college co-eds talking about mutual friends (anywhere, anytime) there's no way to turn off your ears. listening to such conversations makes me super-aware of my own coffeeshop chats.
there are those where you talk slightly louder than needed, with a surge of confidence, knowing that that kid studying by himself two tables over can and probably is listening to you. you laugh frequently, throwing back your head and looking around every once in a while to check out your audience. the topic of conversation is usually superficial, about "friends" who are probably really aquaintances, or something that happened the last time you got drunk. it always seems funnier when you recount it to your friend.
then there are those converstions when you notice no one, because the topic of conversation actually matters and you are too engrossed in the dialog to pay attention to the different gruops of people who filter in and out of the coffeeshop over those two hours. these converstaions are pretty rare, and you really only have them with your best friends. usually it's at the coffeeshop because the phone isn't appropriate, and it's an easy place to meet.
most of the time, coffeeship excursions are betwen half an hour and an hour long, catching up on what's happened since you last met. occasionally, you glance around to check out the crowd, and say hi to a friend from class, or from high school. talk revolves around future plans, current crushes, and gossip about friends that aren't there. the usual. these are the most frequent type of conversations and usually the best ones if you enjoy eavsdropping on coffeehouse chatter. the serious ones are too somber and usually it's too hard to follow along, and the ones who are loud and obnoxious annoy you for those reasons. at any rate, there's nothing like sitting there with your friends and talking... sometimes listening too. ; )

i just realized that that's how you are with everyone... nothing is different about me, never will be. just another person.

such. a. fucking. loser.

lindsay's take on...

summer lovin'
roxanne was going to hook me up with one of her frat brothers (meaning, introduce), but then decided she wasn't. so that was one wasted opportunity (for me... wink). too bad cuz he was cute (another wink). another prospect actually has a long-term girlfriend. not so much a good idea, nor a feasible one. cuz, well, attraction is a one-way street for me. i always like people but they rarely like me back. then another crush that i've had for like 7 years is going to be my fantasy crush once again, considering i never talk to him anyway. funny how that works.

summer job
yeah, i don't think that's going to happen so much. i like the flexibility of not having a schedule, and i already have my rent saved up for the next two months. so it is possible to not get a job, but at the same time, i do enjoy the social aspect of working. you know what i want to do? be a lab-rat (and by lab, i mean bar/pool/mall) for some psychology grad student who wants to study the effects of beer and other mild drugs, sunbathing, shopping, etc. on certain species. for instance red-heads... left handers... girls... shorties... and then get paid for it. that would be the best.

summer crib
burcham woods it is. got the front room, bed right next to the window. how great is it to be woken up (awaken??) by the sun? i love it. gets a little hot (but only cuz i'm there : P) but i love it all the same. its a little annoying being a tad off campus, but i'll deal. have the feeling the summer is going to fly by anyway, so it's all good.

summer goals
i'm not telling!

summer vacation
hmm not so much. although the obligatory week(/end) up at my cottage is a must. i wish there was more "life" up there, so i could just stay up all summer, but the lack of life would drive me crazy. hi, i cannot live in a city without a target, starbucks, and panera. or within 20 miles for that matter.

other
everything should be under "other" cuz thats how i feel my summer will be. kind of layin' low... not much of the social life... chillin and watching tv and movies... getting a little sun... probably driving home frequently for lack of anything else to do... takin' a couple classes... working out (ha) at powerhouse (no comment)... music and concerts... beer and kramit... and etc etc etc.
i hope for a little drama in my own life, that would be nice, but i'm kinda the blackhole for anything that is drama. wait, i dont know if that makes sense... i am the anti-drama, but not by choice, by design.

anyway, gotta clean the room. + apt. it took quite a beating this weekend with my homes up. i will write later, i promise.

friday: ft wayne to EL ~2.5 hrs
saturday: EL to bhills ~ 1 hr
sunday bhills to grosse ile to toledo and back: ~4 hours
monday: bhills to EL ~ 1.5 hrs
monday: EL to ft wayne and back ~ 5 hrs
tuesday: EL to bhills and back ~3 hrs
(forecast)
wednesday: EL to bhills ~1 hr
thursday: bhills to EL ~ 1 hr
GRAND TOTAL: over 19 hours of driving in less than a week. sickening! (no, sicketating!)

in other news, i have decided that we (' we' to remain nameless) are plain looking with cute personalities, which puts "us" at around a 2.5 on the GPA scale of life. that's rounding down, just to be practical. i no longer wonder why i'm single; i just accept it as fact.

i have not seen a movie in ages. i think the last one i saw was "how to lose a guy in 10 days" which was alright. i have not seen a good movie in even longer a time. which is a shame, cuz i love good movies. i'm also kinda having this memory problem, where i cannot remember anything. : P captain obvious. seriously, though, it's not fun. i feel like an old fogey (sp?). i need to figure out how to put comments back in my blog, so someone can tell me how to spell fogey (foh-gee). but i would like to take the time to show you all that i know how to use tilde-n's on my computer: ñ. and Ü for Über. ╗╜ƒçÑ⌐δÜSxܪï»╣!6║╦╨ i think these are all pretty neat. cue: get life.

what else is new with me? i am getting contact lenses. i am freeing myself from my prescriptive lenses and going for the whole lens-on-the-eyeball thing. hopefully my squeamish thing won't get in the way. i doubt it though.

allllllrighty then. i am going to go study now. someone email me with how to put comments on my blog. it was a fluke before when i had them. i can't un-fluke... errr, re-fluke. ?? whatever. also, what is the html script for strikethrough. and i'm outta here. peace.

i just went roller-skating. phew, what a workout.

ruuuuuuuuuben!

sometime this summer, i will invest in audioblogger, because that would be sweet as hell. for now, i keep my roommate awake with the sound of my extra-loud keyboard. (paper-thin walls, not literal room-mate) four days left of the internship. one more paycheck, that i'm hoping i can stretch throughout the entire summer. do you think it's possible? i've tried to budget before, but credit cards always screw things up. it's just so EASY to use them. which defeats the whole purpose of a budget.

here are the things i would need cash money for: food, gasoline, concerts, man whore(s), cell phone bill, slutty clothes, gym membership. i think it should add up just fine... i just need to get it in writing and give my credit cards to my mom to ensure i won't use them. man whores don't take nothin' but the cash money, anyhow.

so, fingers crossed and i'm probably jinxing it by talking about it, but bridget told me we might have a puppy this summer! oh geez, i said it, now we won't... it's just that... puppy! oh! how. much. fun. would that be?

this whole college athletic coaches turned nasty perv-o's is really disturbing. iowa state guy partying with college girls, letting them kiss him and such? alabama coach going to a topless bar, bringing one back with him, and letting her order $1000 worth of room service? what the fuck can you order for a thousand bucks? "hi, i'll have 17 steak dinners, 4 bottles of wine, 9 appetizers, and how about a diamond tennis bracelet too?" ok, i know there are plenty of old pervs out there who go to strip clubs, but ones who get paid millions of dollars by college students tuition? sick.

so. i've been "fibbed" to recently. (haha, no, not pointing a finger at you.) i dont' like it, but at the same time, do not try and point it out. it only makes me uncomfortable when i can tell that i'm being lied to. that is all about the matter.

okay, how BAD do i feel for going to a concert of mothers day!?! i swear, i had no clue that may 11 was mothers day when i bought the tickets... it was only after i devoted an entire half of one hour at work to precisely inking it into my planner that i saw written in tiny 8-point font at the bottom of that day "mothers' day - USA"... you wouldn't believe the holidays in my planner... for instance:
feast of the epiphany (jan.06)
coming of age day (jan.13)
human rights day (mar.21)
mothering sunday (mar.30)
buddah's birthday (may.08)
orangeman's day (jul.12)
friendship day (aug.03)
international indigenous day (aug.09)
respect for the aged day (sep.15)
nobel day (dec.10)
boxing day (dec.26)
ok, so i'm sure you're so enlightened right now. i'll call may.05 enlightenment day.
oh, i forgot... mar.29: national feast of she who is lov-ed and respected and graces us with her presence and she whom all cherishes and honors and will never forget day. how did i let that slide by? ; )

i have fallen into the reality-type show trap. i now currently am guilty of viewing 4 such shows on a semi-regular basis (and yes, watching like 6 episodes in a row counts, hello mtv marathons): frat/sorority show, american idol, and road rules challenge. why, oh why?
haha, i was re-reading my journal from a while back, and i wrote this PATHETIC line, which i will share with you for your own pleasure, and please, kindly laugh behind my back, and not to my face... "i am being punished for a crime that i didn't commit." the context? i had overslept my alarm and missed going out with some new friends. we were supposed to meet up at like 8 pm or something, and i took a nap but overslept, woke up at 11pm, and was stuck with nothing to do. cell phones weren't in the picture, so i was literally stuck. isn't that funny though, why so dramatic? i think i was crying at the time.

anyway, why am i skipping the two hour finale of the practice to blog? wtf? but i've missed too much of it now to go and watch the end, i'll have to wait 35 minutes until it stops recording, then rewind and watch. such is my life.

don't take people for granted, especially not your friends. and definately not your family. but that is just a given. goodnight loves.

if he, like, didn't wear tapered jeans that like hugged his nuts..." -roxanne

i have this little black crate thing, and it has 3 books in it that i have read, and 19 books in it that i have not read. i just ordered 2 books from barnes and noble.com, why do i keep buying books when i have 19 to read already! stuuuuupid lindsay.

i like attacked my gums with dental floss today. now my teeth are killing me. you know how they say, like, the ocean is moving 2 cm into california every year or some weird statistic like that? well that's how i feel about my teeth. like every year i think they move like .5 mm... but i dont know WHERE they go. they shift around, i guess. so that's what i did on a saturday in fort wayne. flossed.

john mayer and counting crows? did i die and go to heaven?? i think so!

i kind of need a job for the summer... any ideas? i want to baby-sit, cuz that's like the most perfect job, but i dont think that's going to happen. i want to work at pf changs again, cuz where else do you get half-off the best chinese food on the planet? but i dont know... i left that place crying a few times, and that's not really something that draws me back to prospective employers. clarify: employers did not make me cry, but mean customers ('guests') who yelled in my face and threw things at me did. sheesh

i got this RIDICULOUS sunburn last sunday, and i still have it. i tried to take a picture of it in the mirror, but i like totally missed when i aimed at the mirror. i'm a dumbASS. i always wondered why people put stickers on their bodies while they tan... is that supposed to be cool or something? if so, i totally was sleeping when that became fashionable.

gums, still hurt! i. want. a. drink.