There’s the old story about the two workmen on a construction site, both doing the same thing. Asked what he’s doing, the first man says “I’m laying bricks.” Asked the same question, the second man says “I’m building a cathedral.”

I lifted that from http://scottraymond.net. I like the idea of the story, that everyone will go through life with this great sense of doing something. taking pride in his or her work. that sort of thing. i can't say i'm building a cathedral, or saving lives, or fighting fires, or healing the sick, or creating beauty, or teaching others. what can i say? i'm helping the company i work for grow. make money. get more customers. make customers happy so they dont go elsewhere. that is essentially what i do. or the end result of what i do, either or. (and of course, not really, only pretending for a few months before i go back to school.) in the end, it is all about making more money. i've seen enough episodes of oprah to know that i won't find happiness that way. and i know that even without watching oprah. i know it first-hand.

i volunteer for Junior achievements (no, not on any high horse, thankyouverymuch) which is an organization that teaches business and economics to students. i teach/taught 7th and 8th graders. over 5 weeks, i had to follow this guideline that was called "the economics of staying in school" where i basically had to share my experiences with the students and try to show them why to stay in school, encourage them to go to college, etc. every damn lesson boiled down to this: if you participate in extra curricular activities NOW, you'll be accepted into a good college. then if you do an internship, you'll get offered better jobs and will most likely land said jobs. in the end, you'll make more money than the next guy. i'm not kidding. that's what the end of every lesson came down to: how are you actions today going to affect your wallet in 8 years.

i feel like these kids think it's all a joke, cuz it kind of is. kids are smarter than "adults" anyway (quotations because i'm not sure if i fit into that category yet, although for this example, i do) so i feel like they're looking at me saying "yeah right lady, you're such a liar." and i kind of am. i know that what i tell them is false. i know that even though after i pay my bills and i still have money left over, that doesn't make me happy. money does not buy contentment, that is FOE SHOW.

ok this blog has taken such a boring turn, i'm yawning. the whole point i so blatantly missed is that... i wish i could say i was building a cathedral.