blah, so many sentances i have just written and then erased. i cant quite put my finger on whatever it is i'm trying to say. i think it has to do with the weather, which has thrown us all for a loop. pamela and i took a nice 2 1/2 hour lunch break, but it was pouring the whole time and most of it was spent in a skanky auto body shop. i just came back to my desk and thought it was the least desirable place to be at that moment. of course, it really isn't, but my reality is out of whack.

i have been thinking about old friend recently, it's kinda weird. there's a girl at work who reminds me of one of my old friends. i dont know her really, but i will always ask if she wants to go out to lunch with a group of us because she reminds me of that friend. not that i dont like her for who she is, but sometimes i feel like i'm hanging out with that friend again, and i like that. i dont think that's a horrible thing either, because i guess we are drawn to people who have certain characteristics, and i guess they both have those. whatever. it's sad to lose friends, especially if it's not even for a specific reason. it's so easy to kind of lose touch over time, and i think those are some of my biggest regrets in life.

i had a fun birthday weekend. friday night, i drove up to kalamazoo (i turned 21 at the stroke of midnight that night). en route, i just happened to glance at a car stalled at the side of I-69, just as i would ordinarily do, without thought. so it happens, i see an MSU sticker on the back of the truck and realize it's doug's truck. so i called him up, sure enough he says "turn around, i am broke down here!" so i made it to the nearest "authorized vehicles only" turn-around (yeah i'm badass). he broke some ring or another... so i drove him back to the nearest big exit and we got the new parts and stuff. never really thought doug was the car type, but sure enough he got that mofo back on his car, and i followed him until we split at I-94. let's not forget it was raining and about 40 degrees when this happened. i was freezing cold, starving, anxious to get to kzoo. and every time a truck passed up (I-69 is like truck heavy galore) we'd get a fine nice mist of skanky water... i just pretended it was a beauty treatment of some sort, beauty treatment of the soul for doing a good deed. yeah, hopefully my karma is now evened out...

so got to the zoo finally. jack kare and i went to gallaghers for the official stroke of midnight, and just chilled and caught up. had a guiness for my first offical drink of my 21st year. and we watched the spartans win, but i just wasnt feelin' it in that kzoo bar. i got over it soon enough, and to tell you the truth, i have no idea what we did for the rest of the night. : P

saturday we went shopping , i got a jean jacket, because i have no fashion sense and wear things like jean jackets. the best was when kare and i were trying on clothes... priceless, our attitudes. i guess that's all i'll say about that... yeaaaaaah. my birthday lunch included a drive-by of the chicken coop, but we settled down at taco bell, where i was supposed to receive a complimentary taco, but that never happened ; )_ then it's really cool when i overhear some guy say to his friend how he gave up pop for lent, but he never drank pop anyways, and i feel the need to call him a cheater or something. cuz that's cool. why am i such a dork? don't answer that...

i thought it would be so neat and creative to make kare's away message say "wasted at wayside" (not alliteration, but what?....) well thats what we did. ok, i was like *nervous* going to wayside, i thought for some reason they wouldn't accept my ID or think it was my older sister's or something. hahaha. it was cool though, i got in :o) <-----sick that looks like a pig. anyway. we had a lot of fun there, and sandra even got in with her older sister's ID! it was way fun. i like being the big 2-1.

sunday was random, we drove to MSU for like 2 hours, then i drove kare back to kzoo, hung out w/jack for a bit more, and then drove back to the fort. random for sure. kind of weird too. it snowed, no, blizzarded on the drive back down. i had to stop on the side of the road. i guess it wasn't so much the volume of snow (cuz i dont think it snowed for very long) but it was coming right at me, so it reflected off of my headlights and i couldn't see more than 6 inches off of my windshield. i dont think i was ever that scared driving, so i pulled over for like 1/2 hour. it suuuuucked. cuz it was like midnight (which is late for me anyway) and it was right after my hectic birthday weekend, so i was tired as a mo. didn't get back til like 2:30 in the a-m, so needless to say on monday i was pooped. i really havent caught up on my sleep at all this week, but whatever, i'm over it.

its like 3pm on a friday, and 1/4 of my bosses are here. i am soooo tempted to leave, no one would know the difference, but at the same time i feel guilty because i feel like i have slacked off for the last day and a half. i really dont think i deserve anything i have, i wouldnt be surprised if one day big important people came and whisked me away and off the premisis, saying that i was no longer employed here. shit, how bad does that sound? it's kind of like for you guys who are in school right now... you are no doubt slacking (save for a select few who are not, in fact, slackers) and not doing your work. in a few weeks, classes will be over, finals behind you, and you will get your grades. they will probably not be horrible, but you could have done better. and you'll say to yourself, shit! i knew i should have tried harder, yet i b.s.'ed instead of studying. trust me, i've been there over and over and over again. i'm there right now. i know i should be acting all ambitious and taking initiative and stuff, but i just dont feel like it. i will still get a good review, but i doubt it will be "great." i will get a 3.0 instead of a 4-point, type of thing. you know? i'm sure you do...

ah, what else. i'm going to chicago with the coops next weekend. we're going to a cubs game, which should be cool. i doubt i will ever be in the position to go to a cubs game ever in my life, so i decided to just go (to the game i mean) and i hear wrigley field is just an experience in itself. i hopefully will do some shopping, get some new clothes or jewelry or something. i havent decided if i'm going to go out to the bars with the guys, or hang back with the girls (who are all under 21) i dont know. whatever.

i feel like going to concerts. ben harper and jack johnson are touring together this summer. how kick ass is that?!?! i want to see dave matthews again (for the 4th or 5th time) and jason mraz again too. 3eb is supposed to come out with a new album, so maybe they'll tour that too, how fun. i'd like to see CSNY, bob dylan, and billy joel. i dont even remember the last real concert i was at... i think it was last summer, third eye blind, vanessa carlton, and ... who was the headliner even? matchbox twenty? shows how much i liked whoever it was. oh, i take that back, rusted root at breslin. that was kick ass. i'd like to see them again, too, but under the influence. ; )

i cant wait for my moms tulips to come up. i hope i see them when they do. they are kind of short lived, those tulips. thats a shame. i always think of amsterdams airport when i think of tulips, cuz they always have them there. like, who buys tulips from an airport though? apparently, lots of people. i like amsterdam's airport... it's like a mall, except, you know... with big jets and shit.

"lindsay's weekend wrap up" will end with... a joke. why did the rat cross the road?

(nekcihc eht ot delepats saw ti esuaceb). and i'm out... like myself in a beauty contest!

(haha, 'out like a ______' joke compliments of cora