To Complain or Not To Complain?

Am I being a total bitch by being totally wanting to lay out the checkout lady at Meijer who palmed my coupons?   Now, I realize that by admitting that, I admit that I use coupons which just makes me feel cheap and all, but my anger far outweighs my embarrassment over being cheap.

 

First of all, they were dollar coupons. Worth whole dollars!   Dollars to pay for pops and lattes and, I don't know, electric bills. Secondly, eff you! I realize that I should have caught it while the transactions were happening, but I didn't put 2 + 2 together fast enough. I handed her coupons and the proceeded to finish bagging my grocery in my eco-friendly reusable bags. Damn, I was even DOING HER JOB and she still stole from me!  

 

As she handed me my receipt, I was all "why does she have crumpled paper in her hand?" but that's was the extent to that thought and I forgot it immediately. It wasn't until I got home and studied my receipt more closely that I learned of Cynthia's crime.   (Stupid Cynthia.)

 

Now, I realize that 1.) she works at Meijer and 2.) she probably needs the $2.00 more than I do, but it's the principle of the matter. I clipped those coupons like the frugal cheapskate I am so close to becoming it frightens me just a wee bit. She even had the audacity to chit-chat with me before hand!

 

So, if I make a formal complaint and she gets fired (not that I would have any way of knowing, per se…) would I sleep guilty at night, or forget all about it? Oh, the choices we make…

 

P.S. I freaking love daylight savings time. Bring on the dark skies, bia!

Feeling Guilty Typing This

Haha, I hate to admit it, but I'm typing this as Nick is talking to me about last night's Law & Order... it's 8:06 a.m. on Friday, I am at work and Nick has a vacation day so he's at home.  I have no idea why he's calling me at work to tell me this. I mean, we love Law & Order but a 8:06 a.m. call regarding an episode I missed? I guess it was a big on in that the ADA got killed off the show. Oh, nevermind, he's calling to discuss lunch plans.  Oh wait, he's saying he misses me. I left 15 minutes ago. Oh brother. I mean, boyfriend.

National Blog Posting Month

I think that's what NaBloPoMo stands for.  All of my favorite bloggers do it.  Bandwagon time.  Basically it's one post a day, for the month of November (or so I've surmised based on my work-time surfing). Now, I gotta admit, I read a shit-ton of blogs.  Yet I hardly maintain mine on any sort of level that would qualify as a good blog.  I still use a Blogger template and can't even figure out how to do that properly.  I've been reading a posting since 2001 which is quite a long time in the blogging world, but my site needs some pizzazz and oomph.

 

My goal is to work on that tonight, the makeover of my site, but we all know how that goes...  I make a list of things I want to get accomplished in those short few hours after work and after I cook dinner, after cable tv consumes me for two hours, after the internet consumes me for another two, you know, those short few hours. (And it's not even like I have kids or pets or an education to work on... God I'm a lazy mofo.)

 

Also on my list of things to get accomplished in the next undetermined amount of time: (I know, how convenient)

• Get a pet - because let me tell you, when Nick and I found this guy in our parking lot and walked around all of the condos nearby and couldn't find his mama, and we quietly adopted him for 3 hours, and re-named him, all while waiting for fliers to be printed at Kinkos for us to distribute the following morning, it was the best 3 hours of <strike>my life</strike> the day.
• Get working on those New Years Resolutions - no, not writing them for 2008, I mean implementing my 2007 ones. You know, like, "FLOSS EVERY DAY" could work maybe, if I floss 20 times a day for the remaining 61 days of the year, maybe, just maybe, I'll have flossed 365 times this year. Does this count?
• Declutter - did you know that clutter was the leading cause of Household Bickering, in a study done by Smith & Collins, LLC. 2007?  No?  Well now you do!  See also:  throw away holy underwear (as in, underwear with holes, not deity-like knickers), get rid of expired coupons, and clean out the refridgerator.  How domestic of me!

Til next time...

T9Word, I Love You So

I love that T9Word remembers my most-frequently-used words and suggests them first while composing text messages. I love that while writing a text to my sister to see if she had gotten our mom and birthday card that it first suggested barf first. My cell phone, it knows me inside and out.

Old Habits Die Hard

Just as hard as it is to teach a dog new tricks, it’s just as hard to un-teach an old dog a trick he learned ages ago.

 

THINK ABADID.

*******************

 

So, I have a confession… I bought one of these water-aerobics belts:

 

 

It’s true. This is not a lie. The question is:  Will you still be friends with me?

 

Also, visit www.midwestgothic.com

Cuz yo momma told you to.

 

Omfg

Brilliant –

 

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2007/10/9allen.html

 

This is why I prefer Espresso Royale…

Curses, Andy, Curses!

So, it's hardly a secret that Andy on The Office is annoying as hell.  He's always singing in that annoying "I think I'm a classically-trainer singer and want people to complement me" way, you know what I'm talking about?  The type of singing that makes you roll your eyes and purposefully yet painfully ignore him?  Because if you complimented him, he'd get a big head and do it far more often?

 

Well, that's not exactly how I'd describe the Andy in my office, except for he's annoying in a completely other sense.  He repeats himself, saying dumb little phrases over and over.

 

"I just want to call the supplier, and figure out what's going on there."

 

(two minutes later)

"Yeah, I just want to find out what's going on there."

 

(a minute later)

 

"Okay, yeah, give me until tomorrow, I'm going to find out what's going on there."

 

OKAY, I GET IT.  YOU'RE GOING TO FIND OUT WHAT'S GOING ON THERE!

 

Okay, so maybe I'm a bitch, but it's only in my head and only to my blog!  And all of the Internet to read!

 

So, he's actually not that annoying, I just needed a good segue into the fact that I find it funny that Andy (The Office) annoys me because of his singing, and Andy (my office) also sort of, by accident, today annoyed me because of singing.

 

Today he got to repeating "just find out the bare necessities that we need".

 

Which turned into...

 

"Okay, let's just figure out what exactly the bare necessities are" and "What is the absolute bare necessity?"

 

Which leads me to start signing (in my head) that goddamn song from that Disney movie, with the emaciated ape-boy and jungle bear singing and dancing "The Bare Necessities" over and over and over and ahhhhhhhhhhhasdfasdj;edflwe2292121012jasl;das;dfaswoqwieuwdwqpweoruqwepbarwepoeidbaerweofjf.

Accomplishments of the Week

1.)     Last night, after coming home from work and strewing about my belongings all over the place like a child throwing a fit, I picked up after myself before I went to bed.  This, my friends, is monumental.  Normally, I would keep the strewings as they were, add another layer of strewings the following day, so on, so forth, living in filth, then hyperventilate on Friday night after a whole week of this behavior because I live in a pig-sty.  This whole “pick up after yourself daily” thing is pretty rad.

2.)     I sold something on Ebay and made twenty bucks. SCHWING!!

3.)     I signed up for Extra-Curricular Activities.  AKA, Hobby Hunting.  I am optimistic.

 

The Customer is Always Right?

I don’t know if it’s because I work in Purchasing (where I subconsciously live by the motto “the customer is always right” thus making ME always right, ahhh I love it) or if it’s because young Americans are just used to instant gratifiction, but man, let me tell you, I am a hard-to-please customer.

 

This car salesman I’ve been talking to, he has a low say-do ratio.  “What, pray tell, are you talking about?!”  I can hear it in your head right now.  Say-Do Ratio.  A beautiful thing.  Let’s say you tell your wife “Honey I will mow the lawn and clean out the gutters” and you only end up doing one of those chores. First of all, you are a chump. Get off your ass and go clean out the gutters, the football game will go on regardless if you watch it or not. You can look up the score later.  Second of all, let’s say you still only do one of the chores. Well, you’ve SAID you’ll do two things and you’ve DONE one thing.  Say-Do Ratio is low. (For mathematical purposes, it’s actually Do-Say ratio in that Husband’s ratio is 50% right now).  If he were to complete both tasks, his Say-Do Ratio would be 100%.

 

Right, so where was I?

 

Car salesguy.  He SAYS he’s gonna go “x” in “y” time.  Such as, “I’ll fax you the quote within 30 minutes.”   Well, I’m standing at the fax machine 29 minutes later and pissed-off by 31 minutes.  Don’t say something you’re not going to do.

 

I’m allllll over Say-Do Ratio like white on rice. It’s my favorite thing to judge people on.  Well, that, and their choice of MySpace song, but I digress…

 

Why must car shopping be so dreadful and why can I not trust a car salesman to save my life.  Oh, because they’re employees of Satan, that’s it! I forgot…

 

 

 

The Day in Which My Mom Got All Ball-Buster with Airport Security

We were traveling to New York for a wedding last fall right after they implemented the whole “put your 3 oz. toiletries in a quart-size ziplock bag or else” initiative.  Literally, like the next day. So, I followed the 3 oz. rule but was like “they’re not going to actually DO ANYTHING about this law, I mean, it’s Detroit. Bigger fish to fry…”

 

Hoo boy, was I wrong. They quickly confiscated my Oil of Olay face serum, which cost me about $20 a pop from the drug store. In other words, I feel as though I’m slathering diamonds on my face when I use it, the cheap bastard I am. Since I’m known to be, errr, somewhat sensitive when ‘people of power’ (aka airport security hahahahaha) yell at me or look down upon me for ‘breaking the law’ I get all meek-like and obedient and repentant. TRUE STORY.

 

So I’m stammering like “oh I’m so sorry, yes it’s not in a quart-size bag, please, take my diamond-expensive face cream and throw it in your trash bin even though I know you guys go looting through it at the end of your shift” and I give it up without a fight. Up ahead, as we were putting our shoes on, my mom could see I was upset and down in the dumps, and asked what was wrong. I boohoo’ed to her that they confiscated my face cream, and she marched her pretty little butt up to the airport security and demanded they hand it back.   This, if you’ve ever met my mom, is slightly out of character.  My mom obeys laws.  She makes us face the consequences for our actions.  I admire this about her.   Except that day, when she got all ball-buster with Airport Security.

 

“I’m sorry, ma’am” the woman said, pointing to the newly-placed sign “it’s not an a plastic bag.”    

 

“Well what difference does it make if it’s in a bag or not, it’s still 3 oz?”

 

And so on, and so forth. 

 

I got the face cream back, I cried tears of joy, did a little back-flip and break-dance in my head, and saw my mother in a different light.