Monday, February 13, 2006

There are a few things that happen, without fail, with a somewhat structured frequency that I somehow manage to completely forget about. Then when they happen, I'm like "Oh, yeah! [Sample event] occurs every [insert frequency]! And I always seem to forget about it!!"

A few examples, in a dashed list, as I do not know how to use bullets in HTML and am too lazy tonight to figure it out...

- Taxes. Every year, without fail, I get a wad of money back. You'd think that this positive activity would reinforce the feelings of glee when all of a sudden you're $2000 richer. (Or... you get back the $2000 that you earned but was taken away from you... either way.) and would make me anticipate the next such occcurance. But not so much. I'll get that thin envelope from my employer every year, same time, and wonder what in the hell they are sending me that would be only 1 page thin. I open it up, wonder why they sent me my payroll information, then start sweating with excitement that, Oh Yeah! Tax Refund!!

- Another thing: sunburn. It's as though every August or September, the memory of sunburns past is just wiped from my brain. Every day I couldn't sit on the toilet cuz of the bad burn I got on my ass, or had to free-ball it (no bra) because the thought of anything touching my back that wasn't made of, say, baby butt skin or the whisper of a fairy or something, made me cry for my mommy. All the knowledge I re-learned that summer of 1) yes, you can get sunburned through clouds or 2) if you're going to a Tigers game and are sitting right in line with the sun, you should bring SPF or at least fork over $10 for some at the concessions (yes, they sell it at Comerica Park) or even 3) don't untie your top and loosely let it drape over your breasts in your backyard cuz maybe the kids from the 'hood (the neighborhood, dumbass) would use your backyard as a shortcut and maybe get too much bang for their buck (their buck being, of course $0)... anyway, yes that was/is a long long run-on sentance and #3 had nothing to do with lessons learned about sun exposure and yes, this sentence is still not finished and what the fuck woman, I hate you stop talking!

Yes, sunburns. I seem to have to re-learn the hard way every fucking year.

- The Curse. Aunt Flo coming to town. The Crimson Wave. "Menstruation." While this is a much more frequent event, I still seem to be oblivious to it every fucking time. "Oh, I forgot how crippling cramps are and how I pretty much want to dieeee one day every fucking month." Hence the name "The Curse." And while I still don't understand how bad it must hurt for a guy to be kicked in the junk, I don't at all have any sympathy for your pain, as we must endure this 12 times a year, and some of us who choose to procreate have to endure much much more tragic things to our girly bits that I won't even discuss, nor am at liberty to discuss as I haven't gone through that process. At any rate, I still suffer from short term amnesia when it comes to my monthly uterine duties.

On that note, now that we've gotten all personal... how you doin'?? ;)

--Post Script--
I just realized I had a blog that was in Draft status, not sure why, but I posted it. Here it is, in case you're stalking me...

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