Text Messages I Can't Bear to Erase:

"Just wait til you pee, it will be orgasmic."

"You have no idea how much my ass hates me right now."

"Drink wine, laugh often, live long."

"I have this text message saved in my phone do you remeber saying it lol?(the first part is me talking) Oh my god you are so funny "I bet he wants to put it in my butt" "

"Let's start chanting 'we want Jesse'"

"Watch out my outfits ridiculous"

"I caught you a delicious bass"

"PS, this is a text message from the toilet"

Ahhh, to be drunk and with a phone...