Friday night was interesting; we played Truth or Dare, which really should be renamed Tell Everyone Anything They Want to Know About Your Sex Life (Or Lack Thereof). One guy was just lamenting about how great it is to be single, that after the end of a three year relationship last fall, it felt great to not have to answer to anybody.

"The grass is always greener," I started to say. Someone interrupted me, not rudely though. I never really finished my thought, but it didn't really need an ending I guess. The grass is always greener.

I think I flirted today. No, I definately flirted today.

This blog made me burst into silent tears - I'm not a sobber - after a really shitty day of work. I don't know this girl, I don't even know how I came across her blog, but I read it all the time and this one struck a chord. Except where she mentions "why can't I do this in my workplace if I can do it in relationships?" - cuz see, I can't do that in ANY aspect of my life!

Baby steps, Lindsay, Baby Steps...

JACK!! was it Fern Gully!?

you know.

I don't think I should even be blogging right now... so much going through my head. But you wouldn't be reading this if I wasn't writing it. So.

Co-op party. I show up, and see a few unfamiliar faces, which is somewhat usual, as there are sometimes "full time" employees (fresh graduates and such) who come to our co-op parties. It was at least an hour after I showed up that I was across from a guy I didn't know during our game of Flip Cups, and I leaned over and said "Hey I'm Lindsay."

He leaned back and said "Hey, I'm Kyle... from the Marines." Right away, I thought that was weird. From the Marines?... I thought. Huh. Okay. I wasn't sure what he meant by that, and didn't say anything in that 3/4 second lull. "I was shot so I am back for a month or so," he said, lifting up his Abercrombie or Old Navy cargos.

Sure enough, there was a quarter-sized hole, I truly can't describe what it looked like, and a 6" scar on either side of it. This was the first time he had mentioned being in the service in front of any of us, and a co-op on my left side thrust his hand out and said "Man, I respect you, thank you."

Kyle, from the Marines, said "Yeah, Fuck Them."

That's about the time I had to leave. Really, it's something that's hard to explain, walking that line of not offending those why feel strongly enough to risk their lives for "our country" (which wouldn't give a shit about them if they weren't serving -- and of course I say this without really knowing what I'm talking about) and yet still feeling strongly that these guys who say "Fuck Them" are probably in the same mentality as the other guys who sign up for service saying "Fuck Them" about us. It's just not about that, I think.

And yet I really know nothing, except to go outside and vent to my friends. "The Marines are brainwashed," one said, "taught to fight and kill no matter what." This was not helping. I looked through the porch door at this kid, thinking, "SHIT. He's been fighting in Iraq, and we've been IMing back and forth at work saying that GE is a bullshit company and that we don't do anything. How can we be drinking with this kid, talking about stuff, thinking that we are even ON THE SAME PAGE WITH HIM."

I felt bad, having to leave the conversation, but I really couldn't stand it. I went and waxed philosophical with some other kids, who didn't necessarily agree, but were kind enough to let me talk anyway. I just didn't understand the whole "let me shake your hand" mentality. On one point, I understand that you are risking your life for what you believe in. I just wonder if what you believe in really exists in reality.

On the other hand, isn't saying "let me shake your hand" condoning that mentality? Wouldn't I be saying "Yes, continue to kill those 'motherfuckers'" if I got all hyped up about it? I don't know. Regardless of whether or not I met "Kyle the Marine with a quarter-sized bullet in his leg and about to go back and kill some more motherfuckers," it's still going to go on. Meeting me (and me not even saying any of this to your face) is not going to change one damn thing, THAT I KNOW.

But it still made me sad, and realize the un-importance of every minute thing I think is bad in my life, and really concerned about people that I care about who are considering something like this. It's really all beyond me, and I think beyond most people. It's not something that can be decided by the masses, as evident today. It's really all beyond our scope, and we really just look like a bunch of fools talking about it.

Whatever. I know really know what else I can say about it. I don't think I want to right now.

I just worked the longest hours EVER. 6:30 am - 7:15 pm -- and I only took 1/2 hour for lunch! It was around 6pm when the 2nd shift union guys gave me a puzzled look and asked, "Overtime?" to which I shook my head, explained that I am salaried. "Then why the hell are you still here?!" I circled my forefinger around my temple, letting them know I was crazy. Crazy indeed.

I always felt like some kind of freak because I had never seen The Princess Bride, which seems to be a staple on everyone born between 1979 and 1984's list of Best Movies Ever. Upon telling people I had never seen it, I received the sympathetic look, the look of complete shock, and the demand to "go and see it right this second!!!" I don't know which rock I was living under when the movie came out, or when it was at its peak -- I never even heard of it until high school.

I've made note to rent it on more than one occasion, but somehow was more enticed by the New Releases than the musty Blockbuster Favorites. It was actually by complete accident that I saw the 2 minutes of it that I could stomach. I had just finished watching Serendipity (swoon... John Cusack), and turned of the DVD player, and my cable was on AMC.

There was a large rat-type creature rolling around on the ground with an ugly blonde guy. The rat was gnawing on the guy, and he had huge bloddy fang-type teeth. Soon the picture moved to a long-haired blonde chick (who looked vaguely familiar) who was screaming like a stupid chick. Back to the dude and the rat fighting, and I got a nice view of the gigantic tail bestowed on the rat's ass. Then, all of a sudden, the rat caught on fire, the dude stands up and finds a sword on the ground and stabs the rat creature.

Horrified at the ridiculousness of the film, I reached for the remote and hit Info, where I was equally horrified to learn it was The Princess Bride (and realized it was Jennay! from Forrest Gump). THIS is what everyone was talking about? Are you kidding me? I thought I was the freak?

i just set my alarm clock for 4:45 a.m. FOUR. FORTY-FIVE. IN. THE. MORNING.

What to do in event of a sudden flash flood, #31a)

Saran wrap your Precious Moments collection and make like a tree... up into a tree... don't forget your floatation device.

What to do in event of a sudden flash flood, #31b)

Smear your body in crisco or a tub of whale blubber* in hopes of staying above the surface.

*whale blubber applicable when available.