A Toothy Confession

Confession:  I've used the hair off of my own head as dental floss, in times of great need. For example, in the movie theater with a critical piece of kernel cornered between my molars. Also, driving home after dinner with a poppy seed lodged between two incisors. Sometimes desperate times do call for desperate measures.

 

False:  I tell my dentist about the frequency in which I floss. I say it's twice a week, give or take.

 

Truth:  More like once a month, is like it. There, I said it. Yeah, I know it's gross. I'll floss tonight.

J.C.! and other stuff

I just got my every-six-months teeth cleaning.  Is it bi-annual, or semi-annual?  I never know...

 

Anyway, I hate dental hygienists.  Well, let me reiterate.  I hate the ones at my current dental office.  You see, I went to the same dentist for 20 years... the one I grew up going to.  Their motto is "We Cater to Cowards" which really has my name ALL OVER IT because I'm the biggest doctor/dentist-phobic.  They were good people.  Until I decided to move 45 minutes away, and the normally 25-minute drive turned into an hour-and-a-half from my new abode.  Not so efficient to make that trek, even if only twice a year. 

 

[I think I've written this post before, I just got some serious deja vu.  I'll have to check my archives from 6 months ago...]

 

Anyway, so this is probably the 2nd or 3rd time I've visited my "new" dentist, and man, they hack THE SHIT out of my gums.  It's like they're excavating a new archaeological dig or something.  I almost want to ask "hey, did I cut you off at an intersection or something?  Did I hit on your boyfriend?  Why do you have a mutiny against my mouth right now?"  I almost feel like Steve Carell in 40 Year Old Virgin getting my chest waxed... I looked up at her with tears in my eyes and shouted "YOU BITCH!"   Okay, not really, but I did in my head.    Brutal.

 

* * *

 

So is it just me, or is the feeling of driving in/walking in to work on Monday morning just about as worse as getting a teeth cleaning? I liiiiiive for the weekend. I barely think about work during the weekend, minus the occasional log-in to work email. So when I open the door and smell that familiar smell... it's like "ugh - back to this". I truly envy people who love their job, and even more so people who are their own boss. I feel like I could handle being my own boss, working overtime for myself, my company, taking a pay cut, all that jazz... I just don't have my big idea yet. And by big idea, I don't mean million dollar idea, I just mean any idea that will work. I think working for yourself must be the best job anyone could have...

 

* * *

 

So, not to sound like a total couch potato... but holy moly, I can't wait for prime-time TV to start the fall lineup. The Office, 30 Rock, Project Runway (OK, technically that has started), Mad Men (okay, okay), The Biggest Loser! Ahh... and then I wonder how it is that I've gained 10 pounds over the last year?  Oh yes, you read it correctly... I went in my for annual Dr. visit (lovely, lovely experience...) and you better believe it (well, I better believe it) - the scale don't lie.  I so wish it did... Did I fall into the "I got married and gained weight" trap? It appears so... it was rather upsetting, I mean, yeah, my clothes don't look so hot on me but DANG GINA. I's gotsta get me to the gym ASAP.  Like, tonight.  Hence, the desire for good programming on the telly, so I can plug in the earphones and pound out an hour of cardio... wish me luck!

If My Husband Won a Million Dollars

So, remember when I posted about what I would do with a Millon [sic] Dollars?



Well, the last couple of weeks I have thrown in $5 to the work lottery pool. I am not a huge gambler, but I'm definitely not against it. I just generally don't even think about the lottery. But it's one of those things where... if my co-workers are doing it, I am going to jump in on that. NO WAY IN HAIL am I going to be the chump who doesn't throw in the week they win the big draw.



Yes, I'm that naive person who actually believes we have a chance at winning!



So much so that I created a list of how I would spend the money! Ha ha! The nerve...



Well, it was my list, and Nick disagreed on a few of my points. I told him if he won his lottery pool at work, that he could make up his own list. That appeased him for the short-term, and I took down his list of how he'd spend his first mil.




All Debt (house, car, student loans) 1 @ $234,000 = $234,000
Siblings Gift 5 @ $10,000 = $50,000
New Car 1 @ $25,000 = $25,000
Parents Gift 2 @ $150,000 = $300,000
House Reno 1 @ $50,000 = $50,000
Vacation 5 @ $3,000 = $15,000
Landscaping 1 @ $20,000 = $20,000
Savings 1 @ $100,000 = $100,000
Checking 1 @ $50,000 = $50,000
Charity 1 @ $156,000 = $156,000
$1,000,000



So as a couple, we weren't tooooo far off from each other. Nick's biggest beef with my list was how much I would give to charity. One thing we saw eye to eye on (or, rather, Nick said "I like what you put... put that on mine too") was the pre-paid or pre-saved-for vacations. :) :) :) WE LIKE VACATIONS. What on Earth could possibly be better than having a vacation already paid for a few years in a row?! Sublime. One thing Nick was much more liberal with was House Renovations (hey, I wouldn't mind new floors throughout!) and... um... landscaping our yard? WHAT THE EFF EVER.



But there you have it...



Now... if the balls could please fall into the right little compartments this evening... that would be greeeeaaaat.



KTHNKSBAI!