Jake Gyllenhaal - you're hot, and almost as hot as your sister.
Johnny - the teeth? What the hay?
Drew B. - can we be best girlfriends? meet for coffee with Scarlett and send each other IMs on our Sidekicks?
P-Diddy - You are a mighty hot specimen. I forgive you for the Led Zeppelin song you destroyed in the late 90s.
Kathy Griffin - I can't watch you on a full bladder. My mom would kill me for ruining her couch.
Oprah - DAMN, Gina.
Chris (Noth, aka Mr. Big) - Where were you!
Laura Linney/Kate Winslet/Gwenyth Paltrow - Can I just be you for a day?
Carlos Santana - Way to sport the Che Guevara t-shirt. That kind of reminds me of guys sitting at coffee shops with their laptops in college towns.
Leonard DiCaprio - Nice skin. You should be the next Proactiv spokesman, seeing as how Jessica Simpson was recently exposed as a coke addict after Paris Hilton's text messages from Lindsay Lohan became public recently. (I'm a shameless Hollywood gossip!)
Orlando Bloom - I applaud your decision to use spray-tan as an alternatvie to the dangerous and skin-cell-damaging tanning beds.
Clive Owen - Where the hell have you been my whole life?