Thursday, January 7, 2010

Right Vs. Wrong

Okay, people, I am 7 months pregnant. I have never been pregnant before in my life, so I never knew what it felt like to be a pregnant lady. Therefore, I may not have known the proper and improper things to say to a pregnant lady.  Makes sense, right?
Let this blog post be a lesson to you all, in case you are in that same boat (have never been a pregnant lady before...)...
Things That Are RIGHT To Say To A Pregnant Lady:
You look so beautiful! *
You are glowing! **
Oh my gosh, I can hardly tell you're pregnant! ***
Wow, you are just starting to show! ****
Things That Are WRONG To Say To A Pregnant Lady:
Wow, you are getting so big! *****
* Someone said to me today, at work.  She just found out I am pregnant.  Bless her heart, I have seen her at least every other day during my whole pregnancy, just in the halls, but she has never noticed before, and today I was wearing a shirt that definitely, no-doubt-about-it, shows the whole world I am pregnant. 
** Also said by the aforementioned lady today.  Lovely to hear, even if not true!
*** No one has ever said this to me before... but I said this to a friend a few years ago.  Backstory:  this was my first friend to have a baby. And so it was my first experience with a pregnant lady, really, in my adult life. And I only see this friend about once a year.  So I met her and her husband for dinner with my (then) boyfriend (now husband) when I was in her area.  She was around 5 months pregnant, I think.   Now, remember, I've only been pregnant once, so this is with limited experience I am speaking, but being 5 months pregnant is a tricky time.  You don't quite have a basketball bump yet, you're just... slightly thicker in the gut.  Ya know?  It could either be that you're packing on the lbs due to stress, or due to a fetus!  You never know.   So when she stood up to greet me, I exclaimed "Oh my gosh!   I can barely even tell you're pregnant!"   IMMEDIATELY after I said that, I regretted it.  Was this a faux pas?  Did I just insult her?  I had no idea!   And honestly, I still cringed when I thought about that comment (and I had thought about it!) until I became pregnant myself.  Then, remembering back on that comment, I have since decided that it's not such a bad comment. It's essentially saying "You look thin and wonderful.  You are a madonna." (SEE FOOTNOTE)
**** This was also said to be by a different co-worker today, a co-worker who previously knew I was pregnant.  Must be the shirt I am wearing today, man!  Getting the comments on mah belleh.   Anyway, he made the comment as I sat down in a meeting, and it made me chuckle, because, um yeah!  I better be showing at 7 months!  Otherwise, I will give birth to a rat, and no one wants to give birth to a rat, except, perhaps, a rat.
***** The Big Kahuna. This is the BAD comment.  This was said to me on Monday (first day back to work after the 1.5 week holiday break).  "Wow, you're getting so big!"   It was a manager at work, a lady manager at work, a lady manager at work who has kids.  I can't quite grasp it, how exactly she thought that was an "OK" thing to say.  I mean, I don't care if it's the truth... if it's the truth, then holy shit!  PLEASE LIE TO MY FACE!   TELL ME I AM BEAUTIFUL, BUT GOOD LORD, DO NOT TELL ME I AM BIG!   I am ALL FOR people lying to my face, in the sake of being nice or fake. When I am pregnant, that is. 
Well, that pretty much wraps up my rant.  I bid you adieu... until the next comment comes rolling of the next person's tongue...
FOOTNOTE:  Now, don't get me wrong.  I have no desire to be thin and pregnant.  I only desire for a healthy baby and a safe pregnancy.  Please don't let my blithe comment fool you.  I am merely trying to be witty and funny, ok?
POST-SCRIPT:  Just because I said that I want people to lie to my face and tell me I am glowing and beautiful even if they don't think I am, please don't interpret that to mean that if I have said such things to you in prior history, that I was lying to your face.   Obviously, I, of gracious and honorable intentions, would never lie to a woman, let alone a pregnant woman.  I am, like, way, way above that. ;)

1 comment:

Pfabulous Pfallers said...

Lindsay- just got around to reading this. Made me laugh out lout... until I got to the part where you said someone said "You hardly look pregnant." Because I DISTINCTLY remember saying this exact thing to you (at around 5mos I think) and IMMEDIATELY regretting it when I saw the look on your face. You said, "um... yes I do... I think..."
Then I went thru the same thinking you describe- 'Did I just insult her?? I didn't mean to... Um....'
:) Glad to know you decided it was a compliment.