i drive in, get out of my car, and start fueling up. only in fort wayne will you get picked up at a gas station. it's friday, and still hot, so i stand with my hands on my hips impatiently, waiting until i can get back into my car and blast the air conditioning. it's only a mile away from my apartment, but it's friday, and i'm tired, and i just got back into the 40-hour-week routine. the guy across the pump from me blatantly peeks his head around and checks me out. "how you doin?" hi. i open my door and pretend to fiddle with something in my purse. after a few seconds of that, i return to the pump, and out of the sight of this guy. he looked decent enough, but don't do that. again, without caution, he moves down towards the back of his car, so he can see me again. the way he leans up against his car and folds his hands over his chest makes me want to puke. "looking forward to the weekend?" yeah, i say passively. fucking a, i think. could my car fill any slower? he averts his eyes downward, pausing at my chest, then towards my badge. he tried to make pathetic small-talk, effectively creeping me out at the same time. our pumps click off at the exact same instant. he thinks this is some cosmic sign, probably that we should end up at the same bar tonight so he can try to pick me up some more. no, i tell him telepathically, i think it's more like a race to see who can start their car and drive away the quickest, so i never have to see your creepy smile and perverted glances ever again. only in fort fucking wayne.

blackout's generally don't bother me, unless it takes 8 hours to drive up to east lansing and back, having the $100 worth of groceries you just bought from schwann go bad in your fridge, and wondering how you're going to make it to indianapolis to pick up your roommate from ecuador with half a tank of gas in the next 36 hours. : P

"music is the only thing in the world, with exception to sneezing and looking at the sunset, that is above the mundane. everything else is just bullshit." -s.j.

the chaos and destruction of the universe cannot be reversed. in other words, you can never go back." dr. lloyd, speaking on thermodynamics, and possibly, probably, much more.

as heartwarming and encouraging it is to hear a story about someone who's done a 180 and completely put their life together and straighten out, it's far more often i hear stories --or even witness them myself-- of people changing for the worse. whether it's treating people as if they are sub-human, showing friends how little respect they hold for them, accusing people of unimaginable things, giving people big news via IM/text message/e-mail (and even worse... dropping it into the conversation as if the other party already knew the information... ie "my girlfriend and i are going ..." which makes the person look stupid for trying to pull that one off), or just the selfishness of being self-involved and too busy to ask how someone else is doing. it really gets me going.

i don't think i wrote in my blog about how awesome guster was at tastefest. first of all, it's summer. summer concerts rule bar none. second, it was outside... kind of goes hand in hand with 1) because summer concerts tend to mean outdoor concerts. three: enjoying a few brew to your tunes with friends is the best thing to do on a saturday night. it was also awesome that it was downtown, i haven't been downtown in a while, and it was cool to see everyone walking around and enjoying detroit like they should. i even got a rad D bag from real detroit and ran into some people from high school. good times.

i got an email today from the HR coop coordinator at GE. she asked me if i had ever worked at any other GE location ever... because while she was doing payroll business, she found there's another person with my name AND my birthday. the catch is that she works in Asia. i wonder if my identity is being stolen here... call me crazy, but it seems a little weird that there's a Lindsay Smith with my birthday living in Asia. BUT* crazier things have happened, i guess.

i can honestly say i haven't done much with myself this summer -- and not in a "this feels good" way. i feel like a bump on a log, like a lazy-ass, good-for-nothing couch potato. i don't even know why i bother to go home on the weekends anymore, i just do the same loafing around there but end up putting 125 miles on my car and paying 30 bucks in gas to do so. hmm, but my parents have been keen on dining out lately, i take that back. definately worth it.

oh! how could i forget to write about the ann arbor art fair? ok, the art fair wasn't the most spectacular thing ever, but just chilling with my mom was so much fun. she got some cool art and we eventually made our way to a restaurant for dinner. awesome food and an amazing band -- get this, a chaldean guy doing blues. shit, he was good. we sat out on the patio and were right in front, so that was cool. we made our way back home and stopped for starbucks - my mom must keep starbucks in business, i swear - and i just had a really fun time with her.

counting crows concert is coming up -- i'm counting the days for that foe show. opening (or co-headlining?) is john mayer, not too shabby himself. i've never seen CC in concert so i'm stoked about that, and need to brush up on them. john mayer, i'm pretty confident i've stalked all of his music already, the concert should just be all around kick ass. hmm, i wonder where i put those tickets...

roxanne and i, a little bored at the bar the other night, played a little prank on some guys we met there. basically, for like an hour or so, roxanne was "valeria" and was from iraq and spoke no english. i was her family friend, who knew a little arabic, so i kind of "translated" and what not. these guys must have been super drunk, very gullible, or maybe rox and i are (gasp) good actresses, but they bought it. who knew making up arabic on the fly was so easy? so we were getting dropped off by them, they get out of the car to say goodbye or what not, and roxanne goes "corey, ben, aaron, thanks for a great night. see you later" or something like that. they all dropped their jaws and smacked themselves on the forehead, and roxanne proceeded to go make-out in my laundry room (for the 2nd time, mind you) but that's besides the point. it was great, we had a hearty laugh about it for a good twenty minutes while recounting it to ryan, my next door neighbor who always is up for listening to stories.

other than that, i have been lounging around, scrounging for something to do... i may or may not have a bar date tomorrow... we'll see how that goes. i will be less connected today on out. both tv and internet privileges are being revoked. this will be a good thing, i think. i also have an exam tomorrow, much to my chagrin.
i also have shin splints, which hurt like a MF. i have been icing them and such, and now you know the mundane details of my so-called life. great show! alright, on that note, i am outta here. my blogging has been sparse this summer, and i only anticipate it to be even more spaced out, with not having cable internet and all. oh well, what can you do? i will catch you all on the flip side, or maybe even on the un-flip side. you never know.

"wow," i thought as i put down the phone. "that was a sobering thought."

go to www.google.com

type in Weapons of mass destruction

Click "i'm feeling lucky" (instead of Google Search)

Read what looks like a normal error message. pretty funny.

i hate that foggy time in the morning or afternoon after you've awoken from a bad dream. you're still trying to figure out if everything really happened, even though the details seem absurd, as they always do in dreams, and it turns out that those details are in fact what help us to realize that your bad dream was just that, a dream. but still, for the first 90 seconds or so, you're torn between feeling confused, scared, remorse, and/or fear. that has to be on my top five worst feelings.

next, i want to say that there are ten things i hate about you. and no, the last one is NOT "i hate how i don't really hate you at all" or something like that. on an unrelated note, heath ledger is much hotter as a blond.

five weeks minus a day and i'm back to my 8-5 job. hmmm. many ways to look at this... for one, my job location can only improve, i think. yeah it was cool to work building 18, with all the "top players" (omg, i am beside myself) but at the same time, i was the only co-op. no fun. : ( wait, there was a guy named fabio who was in a post-graduate program, he had a certain appeal to him that is just undescribable... which is good because i'm off on a tangent. so, this time around, i will hopefully be around more co-ops and stuff. and now i know a little more about how a coop should conduct herself and hopefully i can dazzle them with my wits. (ha, did you get it??? -- can you tell i've been watching teen movies or what) i now realize none of this is interesting, and will move on.

on august ninth, my family is running through hell. michigan. that's their slogan "run through hell." kinda catchy in that obvious, annoying way. we've done a few runs like that (turkey trot, race for the cure, jingle bell run, etc. etc.) and i *always* come in last place. even my little brother beats the shit out of me. this time around, i'm going for second-to-last. hey, gotta start somewhere.

hmm what else? got a 4.0 in my summer class, and even got honors credit for it. go me. i'm going for another 4.0 in my new class (thermodynamics, good luck) cuz it's been a while since i've had one of those. let alone two.

oh darnit, i wanted to tell a story right now, but i can't. it was funny, in a self-depreciating way, but i still can't publish it. my illusory audience might mad or incriminated if quoted. oh well, you'll have to conjure something in that little (or big, whatever) head of yours.

alright, i'm out yo. peace.

if you sell a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. if you teach a man how to fish, you've ruined a good business opportunity."

now if only i had something to post... hrmm