Venting 101

It's crazy to me that the Powers That Be here at My Place of Employment put a person in charge around here that talks to people as if they've flunked Kindergarten twice, with Cliff's Notes, and the answer manual.

 

We are not stupid. You are an asshole.

 

</vent>

Thing I Can No Longer Do Now That I Work In An "Open Cube" Area

 - floss my teeth if I have last night's popcorn kernals hiding in the crevices between my canines

 - scratch my boob

 - use my letter opener to scratch my back (underneath the shirt)

 - do a quick once-over of my tissues (ladies shouldn't do that anyway, right?)

 - search for open positions at my company - don't want people getting the wrong idea

 - apply last-minute make-up in a last-ditch effort to look put-together

 - sit like a hunchback (probably a good thing, no?)

 - gmail all day

 - play solitare on those down minutes

 

 

 

3/3/09

I’m going to try to post every day for the month… last night was weak as it was a quick note from my cell. Anyway, Dick was one of my supplier sales reps whom I had many a lunch with. He worked up to his very last day. My coworker Marina and I went to his son’s house to visit with his family after the funeral. His daughter-in-law, Lynn, who had recently begun working with him (driving, making lunch appointments with customers, etc.) said that her last conversation with him before he passed away was about getting a sample from us for a quote. Amazing! In his eighty-eight years, he worked until the very last day. I can honestly say, that’s probably the only time I’ll ever go to a supplier’s funeral-type deal. I don’t have that level of report (not even close) with any other suppliers. The fact that his family invited us over to their house speaks volumes of this man, no? We met another guy there at the house that was another customer of his. Wow… true testament, if you ask me. This guy was a WWII vet, served in the Air Force as a pilot, and was a natural born storyteller. Listening to him tell stories from those times makes me feel like a chump! In a good way J Inspiring, I should say. Anyway, we always went to the same eatery (Webber’s Inn in Ann Arbor) and he ordered the same thing every time. “An ice cold Budweiser in a cold glass, a Reuben with extra dressing on the side, and a box to take home half of the sandwich for my wife.” Anyway, it was a treat to hear his stories, share in the work portion of his life, and get to know him a little over the past three years.

Dick, it was a pleasure

Dick, it was a pleasure knowing you. I had a Bud Light in a cold glass for you tonight. Rest in peace.

March

March First. First of March. I kind of like March. I'm glad February is over.

Well, for one, it's Jackie's Birthday. Let's all say a rousing Happy Birthday to Jackie! Hurray!

Secondly, it's the kick-off of Spring Cleaning in the Collins Household. Thus far, I have: vacuumed the whole house, cleaned the stove-top, washed the linens, rid the refrigerator of expired goods, scrubbed the water closets, and rinsed the dishes. Suffice it to say, my hands are pruny and dry, my wastebasket full and heavy, and my vacuum one tired little lady. And really, if you walked in my house right this second, you'd say "Really? You've been cleaning? Ummm..." because for me? Cleaning seems to be a messy chore and you don't really see the entire effect until I'm 100% done. It's frustrating, yes, but a part of the process.

So, that isn't necessarily an interesting paragraph to read, but why all the cleaning, you ask? My husband is out of town, you see, and I'm bored. Plus, it needed to happen. Lord knows I don't want mice or ants or other vermin running around my part of town because of my mess(es).

Why is my husband out of town, you might ask? His friends started a little company and asked Nick to help with the business side of it. Go check them out here. So they hopped a plane down to Orlando to attend a Nerd Conference, whoops, a MegaCon conference. Oh, the nerdery. But! I think it's really cool that Rob has caught this entrepreneurial bug and is pursuing it. Inspiring! I am just waiting for my "Aha!" moment to come along so I can put forth some energy into something that truly interests me...

So, where was I going with this post? Not quite sure. I lost my train of thought. But here's what I know for sure: a Sunday wouldn't be a Sunday without a little trashy tv watching. I'm about to hunker down with some forbidden goods (ice cream!) and turn me on some MTV. Perhaps a more cohesive post tomorrow...

My Condition Has A Name!

I heard a great term the other day (and by "heard" I mean "read on someone's blog") - it's called Bargain Tourettes.  OMFGALAHAOLOAHAALOL.  When I read it, it was as if the clouds parted and the light from heaven shone down on me like an epiphanous dream.  I finally knew the name of one of my worst habits: spontaneously blurting out the price and location of purchase of any piece of clothing I receive a compliment on.

 

For instance (and this is almost identical to the blog that I heard this term on, a blog that I have since forgot, otherwise I would be giving undying praise for such a term):

 

Coworker:  "Cute top!"

Me: "Thanks! Sears, $12.99 with 30% off, so like, less than ten bucks!"

 

And then, of course:

 

Me: "I don't typically shop at Sears, but I parked there when I went to the mall, you know, cuz there's more open spots because WHO SHOPS AT SEARS, but as I was walking through the store to get to the mall, it caught my eye, and I was like 'You know what? I can buy a top at Sears!' so I bought it! And it was less than ten bucks!"

 

Coworker is already walking down the hall to escape my horrible case of B.T.

 

Can't say I really blame her...

 

But who's with me - do you have a case of Bargain Tourettes?

My Poinsetta is still alive and kicking, a good 2+ months after I got it. My plant is better than yours.

Fwd: Congratulations!

Because my maiden name is the most common, I get tons of emails from people intending to reach another Lindsay Smith.  I was lucky enough to nab the lindsay.smith email address at a popular email site at the site's inception.  So I get tons of email for people trying to reach lindsay.smith1 or lindsay.smith2, you get the idea.

This email below is so precious that I thought I'd share. Usually the emails are something along the lines of "Study Group - meeting at the library at 7!" or "Hey it was great meeting you last night!" in which case I snicker that the schmuck either 1.) got a fake email address from a girl, or 2.) is a doof who didn't write down the email address correctly.  Either way, I always end up replying to let them know of their mistake.

 

I wish everyone had a Grandpa Opal.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: <AnEmailAddress@aol.com>
Date: Thu, Feb 19, 2009 at 6:08 PM
Subject: Congratulations!
To: MyEmailAddress@email.com


Dear Granddaughter,

     Congratulations!  What exciting news you had to send Sunday morning.  I am delighted that you have found such a nice young man to be your life long companion.  I wish you much happiness.

     I had a fall here at home last Sat.AM.  I had a problem with my right arm.  It is better but now I am having trouble with my back.  I'm just an old clumsy has been.

     You will be having a birthday the day before Easter.  Hope it will be a happy one.Looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks.

     Love always,
     Grandma Opal

Woo-Woo

I am just now remembering my dream from two nights ago. I was in line waiting to play a game-show type game, with the top prize being this totally decorated new house.  House included.  Tom Cruise was in line in front of me, he was behind the first person. The stars were not aligned for this first person, as he didn't win the house. Tommy Boy went up next, waved his hand over the seam of the door, flicked his finger along the handle (dreams aren't supposed to make sense, are they?), and won the house. His joyous response was to dance ala "Tropic Thunder" and all of a sudden the Ludacris song started playing out of thin air and he started dancing like Les Grossman. I was so pissed he won that house, I couldn't even enjoy the dancing. Then I woke up, and started thinking about getting new curtains.

Currently Stressing Me Out:

My work email has 4600 emails in my "sent mail" that need to be filed, discarded, or followed-up on. That number is so intimidating, I keep ignoring it. But - it has got to be done. My email is on the brink of collapse. Clean it out, or lose it all.

 

I'm thinking back to the days of yore, to a time when I had a daunting task ahead of me and a timeline to boot -- write a term-paper at the end of my study-abroad stay in Dublin, Ireland. No paper, no credit. The survival tactic then?  A 40 of Irish Cider in the computer lab with me to get me through it all.  Unfortunately, I don't think that will fly this time.

 

I guess a machine-bough coffee will have to suffice.