I'll Take My Email with a Side of Cheese

Goddamn they're cheesy, but I'm a sucker for those email signature quotes.  Anyone who works in an email-laden environment is sure to have seen at least 3 or 4 of these.  Mostly coming from the polar opposites of women: either the soft, overweight, gentle-soul woman who wear hideously old dresses but you feel just a little bit bad even thinking that because she's just so sweet; or the sassy, rough-around-the-edges woman who is the last person you'd think to write inspirational quotes at the end of her emails.

 

Some of the good ones I've seen lately:

 

 "There are no shortcuts to any place worth going."

 

And today I just receive this precious gem of encouragement.. it really made my day:

~Some people dream of success while others wake up and achieve it~

Another...

"Be the change you want to see in the world."

 

Oh, that's a good one.  Really good.  What I would like to see more of in this world?  Eternal snow days with Top Chef marathon on all day.  And a thousand tapas before me.  With an unlimited supply of Mojito and diet Pepsi.  So I need to just be that in order to see it?  Cool!

 

I have never jumped on the email-signature-quote bandwagon, but if I did, here's a few I would use...

 

"You're not as important as you think you are."

"You have bad breath - every day."

"It by Friday, but in less than three days you'll be right back at it!"

Sick

Sick people at work piss me off.  If I hear you walk down the hall hacking up a lung, that means the next time I get up to go waste 5 minutes in the bathroom/copier/lunchroom/walk around the halls, I'm walking smack-dab into your mist of germy cough. Yesterday I was so fed up I literally covered my mouth as I walked out of my cube. Ridiculous.

Work Woes

So, they moved the printer at work.  The printer now resides outside of my cubicle, which in a way is a blessing as it helps disguise noises*, but at the same time is a curse as it brings a constant stream of people standing right outside my cube.

 

With my computer monitor strategically placed directly perpindicular to the entrance to my cube, it takes just a step to the left for a person to see my screen.  Seeing my screen is unacceptable.

 

Now, of course, I can't spend my days surfing non-stop as it's inevitable that people come in and out of my cube for work related things.  Hence the "hover over the X" technique in which you surf the web with your mouse always hovered on the X to close your window and your finger poised for action.

 

But people are at the printer NON-STOP, no joke, and that's just not a way to live, CONSTANTLY on guard.   Well, I guess I'll get more work done around here now! 

 

* Noises such as these... http://www.flickr.com/photos/lindsay_smith/467936840/

 

Oops

I have a fabulous recipe for Weight Watchers chocolate muffins.  Basically, you take a box of Devil's Food cake mix, and mix it with a 15 oz. can of pumpkin puree.   Mix, lick, bake.

 

Supposedly each muffin is around 200 calories, and 3 Weight Watcher's points, if you're interested in that sort of thing.

 

The Key? though?  IS TO NOT EAT 12 OF THE MUFFINS (BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR ROOMMATE) IN TWO-AND-A-HALF DAYS.

 

OOPS.

Not only is it my boyfriend (fiancé!) Nick’s and one of my dearest best friend Karin’s birthday, but it’s also my boss Tammy’s birthday as well. Looks like plenty of people were getting busy on April 4^th!

Cheers, cheers, and cheers!

Another birthday today… Sir Isaac Newton.

Straight from my daily email from The Writer’s Almanac…

It's the birthday of the inventor of calculus, the mathematician and physicist Sir Isaac Newton, born in Woolsthorpe, England (1643). He solved many mysteries of physics involving light, optics, gravity, and motion. Newton always gave credit to his scientific predecessors for his achievements, and he wrote in his journal, "If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.".

Thank God for Isaac Newton. I love math!! And no, I’m not even joking. I also love that he gave credit to his predecessors. What a stand-up guy. (Although, I bet if I looked him up on Wiki it would say how he spread narsty diseases throughout villages and bore twenty children with as many women, etc. etc.) (Maybe I should look him up on Wiki before ignorantly defaming him on my website.) (Okay, Wiki’ed him… turns out, no kiddos, no diseases, actually it’s believed that he was a 40-Year-Old-YOU-KNOW-WHAT! Also, that he might have had Aspergers. He sounded quite lovely, in fact. We could have been friends.)

Also born today: one of the Grimm Brothers, Gao Xingjian (Nobel Prize winning author), and Michael Stipe!

Good post, I know!

Today is Jeans Day™ (one of, like, three we have all year) and I busted out my brand new Target jeans. You Know!!

I swear, I know I am like 50% cooler because I wear jeans from Target, but unfortunately, today I lost all of my cool points because I walked around with the long skinny sticker advertising your jean size that runs down the back of your leg.

Now everyone at work knows I’m a size 4!

(Hahahaha)

(HahahahAHAHhah1!haha1qhhah)

I'll Tell You WHAT!

I would encourage anyone with a will of aluminum (read: NOT STEEL) to avoid working in Purchasing over the holidays.   For you will end up a chubby spinster with chocolate stains on your shirts.

 

Why? you ask.

 

Because suppliers, they like to buy us stuff.  Edible stuff.  Caloric stuff.  Tons and tons of edible caloric stuff.  They think it will help in their efforts to sell us their crap.   Hahaha, if only they knew our Supplier Selection Procedures didn't include "What kind of holiday gifts do they give?  Generic crap like calendars, or edible food stuff crap like shrimp-sized cashews or designer chocolate?"   If only.

 

And your will, since it is weak like aluminum (not strong like steel), your will draws you TO the candy-stuff, instead of AWAY from it like it's supposed to.

 

But hot damn if I don't looovelovelove the suppliers who send us Harry & David Dark Chocolate Carmel Corn.   Oh, to work in purchasing…

Happy Birthday!

To Melvil Dewey, creator of the Dewey Decimal System!  Huzzah!

 

Thanks to good old Dewey, I can find my library books with great ease, and don’t have to sift and search for hours on end, combing the shelves for the latest novel or biography du jour.  Digital search engines at the library are for chumps!

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: This email contains information from the sender that may be confidential, legally privileged, proprietary or otherwise protected from disclosure. This email is intended for use only by the person or entity to whom it is addressed. If you are not the intended recipient, any use, disclosure, copying, distribution, printing, or any action taken in reliance on the contents of this email, is strictly prohibited. If you received this email in error, please contact the sending party by replying in an email to the sender, delete the email from your computer system and destroy any paper copies of the printed email.

Congrats Jack

These are exciting times, people. My friend Jackie has been elected to the Board of Directors for The Construction Association of Michigan.  Pretty sweet, considering she's probably one of the youngest women in the profession in Michigan and knowing that there's a plethora of people who immediately draw up their own conclusions about her just upon meeting her.  Heaven forbid a young woman has the strength, stamina, professional acumen, knowledge, and skill-set to oversee and manage a project in a heavily male-predominated industry!   I think it's pretty damn cool of her.   Hip hip hooray!

 

 

P.C.

I got a new P.C. at work... it's quite lovely.

 

Along with all of the other fabulous niceties, it came with the factory-installed GAMES.  You know, of the Minesweeper and Spider Solitaire variety.  Back in the day, I somehow deleted those off of my work computer, and was always too sheepish to call IT and get them reinstalled.

 

"But Lindsay, why do you need Minesweeper reinstalled, don't you have work to do?"

 

"Ummmmm."

"YOU'RE FIRED!"

 

And so I went a long time without. It's like Christmas came early here at work. And I love Santa.

 

Current best time (expert, duh!): 186.