Monday, October 11, 2004
I had a great weekend celebrating my dad's 50th birthday. He had about 50 of his friends (how appropriate) and family over and there was good food and good wine and laughter and drinking and talking and such. I hope to have such good fortune in my future; in fact, it's something I think about all the time. My parents will celebrate their 25th anniversary in a couple of weeks, and that, too, is something that haunts me in a good way. I should only hope to be so lucky.
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Sunday, August 29, 2004
AbercrombieBoyXL: what kind of hobby are you looking at?
AbercrombieBoyXL: ?
AbercrombieBoyXL: something you can do at home?
linds1982smith: something to pass the time
linds1982smith: that does not involve drinking/getting fat
AbercrombieBoyXL: hmmm
AbercrombieBoyXL: you could just be a geek
AbercrombieBoyXL: build computers
linds1982smith: all that is computers is waaaay over my head... i had a co-worker try to teach me Access (i know, completely unrelated to building computers, but bear with me) this summer and after he started with "define the variable by doing this..." my eyes just glassed over and all i could think about was how hot computer geeks are
AbercrombieBoyXL: hahahahah
AbercrombieBoyXL: so you jumped access boy
AbercrombieBoyXL: which is what he wanted
AbercrombieBoyXL: because he was making the shit up anyway
AbercrombieBoyXL: ?
AbercrombieBoyXL: something you can do at home?
linds1982smith: something to pass the time
linds1982smith: that does not involve drinking/getting fat
AbercrombieBoyXL: hmmm
AbercrombieBoyXL: you could just be a geek
AbercrombieBoyXL: build computers
linds1982smith: all that is computers is waaaay over my head... i had a co-worker try to teach me Access (i know, completely unrelated to building computers, but bear with me) this summer and after he started with "define the variable by doing this..." my eyes just glassed over and all i could think about was how hot computer geeks are
AbercrombieBoyXL: hahahahah
AbercrombieBoyXL: so you jumped access boy
AbercrombieBoyXL: which is what he wanted
AbercrombieBoyXL: because he was making the shit up anyway
Sunday, June 27, 2004
Friday night was interesting; we played Truth or Dare, which really should be renamed Tell Everyone Anything They Want to Know About Your Sex Life (Or Lack Thereof). One guy was just lamenting about how great it is to be single, that after the end of a three year relationship last fall, it felt great to not have to answer to anybody.
"The grass is always greener," I started to say. Someone interrupted me, not rudely though. I never really finished my thought, but it didn't really need an ending I guess. The grass is always greener.
"The grass is always greener," I started to say. Someone interrupted me, not rudely though. I never really finished my thought, but it didn't really need an ending I guess. The grass is always greener.
Thursday, June 17, 2004
Wednesday, June 16, 2004
This blog made me burst into silent tears - I'm not a sobber - after a really shitty day of work. I don't know this girl, I don't even know how I came across her blog, but I read it all the time and this one struck a chord. Except where she mentions "why can't I do this in my workplace if I can do it in relationships?" - cuz see, I can't do that in ANY aspect of my life!
Baby steps, Lindsay, Baby Steps...
Baby steps, Lindsay, Baby Steps...
Sunday, May 30, 2004
Friday, May 28, 2004
I don't think I should even be blogging right now... so much going through my head. But you wouldn't be reading this if I wasn't writing it. So.
Co-op party. I show up, and see a few unfamiliar faces, which is somewhat usual, as there are sometimes "full time" employees (fresh graduates and such) who come to our co-op parties. It was at least an hour after I showed up that I was across from a guy I didn't know during our game of Flip Cups, and I leaned over and said "Hey I'm Lindsay."
He leaned back and said "Hey, I'm Kyle... from the Marines." Right away, I thought that was weird. From the Marines?... I thought. Huh. Okay. I wasn't sure what he meant by that, and didn't say anything in that 3/4 second lull. "I was shot so I am back for a month or so," he said, lifting up his Abercrombie or Old Navy cargos.
Sure enough, there was a quarter-sized hole, I truly can't describe what it looked like, and a 6" scar on either side of it. This was the first time he had mentioned being in the service in front of any of us, and a co-op on my left side thrust his hand out and said "Man, I respect you, thank you."
Kyle, from the Marines, said "Yeah, Fuck Them."
That's about the time I had to leave. Really, it's something that's hard to explain, walking that line of not offending those why feel strongly enough to risk their lives for "our country" (which wouldn't give a shit about them if they weren't serving -- and of course I say this without really knowing what I'm talking about) and yet still feeling strongly that these guys who say "Fuck Them" are probably in the same mentality as the other guys who sign up for service saying "Fuck Them" about us. It's just not about that, I think.
And yet I really know nothing, except to go outside and vent to my friends. "The Marines are brainwashed," one said, "taught to fight and kill no matter what." This was not helping. I looked through the porch door at this kid, thinking, "SHIT. He's been fighting in Iraq, and we've been IMing back and forth at work saying that GE is a bullshit company and that we don't do anything. How can we be drinking with this kid, talking about stuff, thinking that we are even ON THE SAME PAGE WITH HIM."
I felt bad, having to leave the conversation, but I really couldn't stand it. I went and waxed philosophical with some other kids, who didn't necessarily agree, but were kind enough to let me talk anyway. I just didn't understand the whole "let me shake your hand" mentality. On one point, I understand that you are risking your life for what you believe in. I just wonder if what you believe in really exists in reality.
On the other hand, isn't saying "let me shake your hand" condoning that mentality? Wouldn't I be saying "Yes, continue to kill those 'motherfuckers'" if I got all hyped up about it? I don't know. Regardless of whether or not I met "Kyle the Marine with a quarter-sized bullet in his leg and about to go back and kill some more motherfuckers," it's still going to go on. Meeting me (and me not even saying any of this to your face) is not going to change one damn thing, THAT I KNOW.
But it still made me sad, and realize the un-importance of every minute thing I think is bad in my life, and really concerned about people that I care about who are considering something like this. It's really all beyond me, and I think beyond most people. It's not something that can be decided by the masses, as evident today. It's really all beyond our scope, and we really just look like a bunch of fools talking about it.
Whatever. I know really know what else I can say about it. I don't think I want to right now.
Co-op party. I show up, and see a few unfamiliar faces, which is somewhat usual, as there are sometimes "full time" employees (fresh graduates and such) who come to our co-op parties. It was at least an hour after I showed up that I was across from a guy I didn't know during our game of Flip Cups, and I leaned over and said "Hey I'm Lindsay."
He leaned back and said "Hey, I'm Kyle... from the Marines." Right away, I thought that was weird. From the Marines?... I thought. Huh. Okay. I wasn't sure what he meant by that, and didn't say anything in that 3/4 second lull. "I was shot so I am back for a month or so," he said, lifting up his Abercrombie or Old Navy cargos.
Sure enough, there was a quarter-sized hole, I truly can't describe what it looked like, and a 6" scar on either side of it. This was the first time he had mentioned being in the service in front of any of us, and a co-op on my left side thrust his hand out and said "Man, I respect you, thank you."
Kyle, from the Marines, said "Yeah, Fuck Them."
That's about the time I had to leave. Really, it's something that's hard to explain, walking that line of not offending those why feel strongly enough to risk their lives for "our country" (which wouldn't give a shit about them if they weren't serving -- and of course I say this without really knowing what I'm talking about) and yet still feeling strongly that these guys who say "Fuck Them" are probably in the same mentality as the other guys who sign up for service saying "Fuck Them" about us. It's just not about that, I think.
And yet I really know nothing, except to go outside and vent to my friends. "The Marines are brainwashed," one said, "taught to fight and kill no matter what." This was not helping. I looked through the porch door at this kid, thinking, "SHIT. He's been fighting in Iraq, and we've been IMing back and forth at work saying that GE is a bullshit company and that we don't do anything. How can we be drinking with this kid, talking about stuff, thinking that we are even ON THE SAME PAGE WITH HIM."
I felt bad, having to leave the conversation, but I really couldn't stand it. I went and waxed philosophical with some other kids, who didn't necessarily agree, but were kind enough to let me talk anyway. I just didn't understand the whole "let me shake your hand" mentality. On one point, I understand that you are risking your life for what you believe in. I just wonder if what you believe in really exists in reality.
On the other hand, isn't saying "let me shake your hand" condoning that mentality? Wouldn't I be saying "Yes, continue to kill those 'motherfuckers'" if I got all hyped up about it? I don't know. Regardless of whether or not I met "Kyle the Marine with a quarter-sized bullet in his leg and about to go back and kill some more motherfuckers," it's still going to go on. Meeting me (and me not even saying any of this to your face) is not going to change one damn thing, THAT I KNOW.
But it still made me sad, and realize the un-importance of every minute thing I think is bad in my life, and really concerned about people that I care about who are considering something like this. It's really all beyond me, and I think beyond most people. It's not something that can be decided by the masses, as evident today. It's really all beyond our scope, and we really just look like a bunch of fools talking about it.
Whatever. I know really know what else I can say about it. I don't think I want to right now.
Monday, May 24, 2004
I just worked the longest hours EVER. 6:30 am - 7:15 pm -- and I only took 1/2 hour for lunch! It was around 6pm when the 2nd shift union guys gave me a puzzled look and asked, "Overtime?" to which I shook my head, explained that I am salaried. "Then why the hell are you still here?!" I circled my forefinger around my temple, letting them know I was crazy. Crazy indeed.
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